Adonis Rosalle

Transcript

, Geraldine Dean, when I was 14 years old. It was even harder because my mother, brothers, and I lived with her at the time. This was my family. That was all I knew. I remember praying so quietly that only God could hear, every time she went for a quick doctor's appointment or checkup. This became a habit until that fateful day. Mom sat me down next to her and explained through tears that Grandma wouldn't be coming home. In her will, Geraldine instructed my uncle to carry out her final wishes: to transfer ownership of the house to my mother, brothers, and me, and to divide the shares of the family business.

But sometimes things don't go as we planned. In one fell swoop, my uncle stole money from my inheritance, took ownership of the house where we lived, and changed the locks on the family business that he and my mother shared. In one night we were left without a home, a job, and support. Time passed, and for years we moved from place to place. Our lives have become extremely unstable. We also went through a lengthy court case trying to resolve the inheritance issue.

Have any of you been to court before? No. You know the saying that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth? The court is the complete opposite of Disneyland. Sitting on those hard benches in court, I had a lot of time to think. I often thought about Geraldine. Despite her many achievements in life, her greatest pride was the family she created. We were her greatest success. I thought about how disappointed she would be, knowing what we had become. I thought about how we had let her down, how we had failed her .

I often asked myself: is this family? When my aunts and uncles stopped answering the phone because they didn't want to take sides, I asked myself, "Is this family?" When other relatives turned away from us in times of need and despair, I asked myself again, "Is this family?" At a certain point, I just stopped asking. We have lost faith in the concept of family. Eventually, my uncle went to prison. Not because of what he did with the inheritance, but because he continued to take what was not his.

Now I don't know why he did it. But I know one thing. It's easy to get lost in life when you're hurting. When you lose someone you love, you lose a part of yourself. Deep within my uncle's soul lived a little boy who mourned the loss of his mother. and snapped at others. He also lost his family. His actions reflected the depth of his pain and suffering. And then, in the midst of all this loss and sadness, something amazing happened. We slowly began to recover.

We started all over again . We made new friends and met new people through community events and volunteering. I realized that it takes a lot of courage to open up to others when you've been hurt so deeply . To find peace, you can't carry this pain and anger inside you forever. At some point you have to let it go. You must forgive, forgive, forgive others, but especially yourself every day. You must love again and allow others to love you, even if you are afraid.

These people didn't have the same last name as us. They did n't even look like us, but it looked and felt like family . These people gave me the same feeling I had as a teenager when I saw my grandmother in front of the school. To feel her strong, loving embrace that reminded me to always keep my back straight. Seeing that look of pride and unconditional love in her eyes as I put on my uniform, that same feeling of confidence in my heart that someone would support me, we experienced a redefinition of what family is.

Instead of the family we had, we were given the family we needed, because even when we lost faith in our family, our family didn't lose faith in us. The dictionary gives a funny definition of family as a group of people with common ancestors. Yes, of course. A true family is the sum of big choices made and strong actions taken. I choose to love you. I choose to care about you. I choose to support your growth and well-being. Take my hand. I won't let you fall.

This does not require a DNA test. In conclusion: open your heart a little, even if it is broken. The heart is an amazing thing. He doesn't care about the past. It seeks only to love and be loved. Trust him. Family is something you create. everyone deserves support in life. Maybe you need someone who is willing to help you rebuild your life, get back on track, and rise. And if you're lucky, you might meet someone your grandmother would like.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.

Transcript

Who here has ever felt ugly before how long Lee I remember the first time I truly felt ugly I was 13 years old and about two feet shorter I was brand new to my school one day on my way to class I made the fateful mistake of bumping into the most popular kid in school now imagine Zack Morris but mean and not charming at all you see Michael the popular kid was also Michael the school bully hey fat ass now I had never heard those words from somebody before but they were enough to alert me to the fact that I had been wounded after a

few weeks of pure abuse I got angry with Michael I challenged him to a fight the flagpole at 3:15 you all know the place but an interesting thing happened on the day of the fight my teacher had asked me to stay after class to talk about the fight rumors it was then that she blessed me with a powerful truth she said Michael feels so ugly that the only way he can find some peace is to share his pain with others you are not Michael you are his opposite find your butterfly after hearing that I naturally did what any teenager would do when an adult gives

him advice I ignored it but little did I know how right my teacher was after the talk I arrived at the flagpole for the fight I could hear kids howling for violence as Michael came out of the crowd and approached me with his fists clenched ready to swing I dropped my fists I said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear I might be fat I might be every awful thing that you have said about me but I will never hate myself as much as you hate yourself I love myself you could hear a freaking pin drop the roaring crowd was soon silenced and Michael

well he was frozen stiff as a board I walked home and I left I was victorious I had won that fight without even striking a blow and from that day on I was never bullied again understand that after a certain amount of self-hatred you can't contain it anymore you infect the world around you society is also to blame society created Michael and people just like him people that truly believe that the best way to feel beautiful is to make others feel ugly this is not what butterflies do but there is good news the opposite is also true an abundance of self love can also be

shared with the masses we put so much effort into trying to cover up our pain admit it we are much better at pretending that everything is OK instead of finally admitting that we are low on love but how can you fully love yourself and be hateful as well if you fully if you have even a tablespoon of hate in your hearts then you're not giving the people around you you're full of that mentality must change immediately in fact you might even need a cosmic event a brief moment of pure divine insight that triggers the metamorphosis I had my butterfly moment for the first time the

other day I was heading into work about to walk across the street when I heard a tiny voice excuse me I spotted a young lady in a wheelchair could you help me with my hat her too could come loose at that moment I heard my teachers voice Adonis this is your opportunity to help someone feel beautiful become a butterfly as I was adjusting her hat I felt myself becoming more loving more compassionate happier and when I was finished she gave me the biggest smile I'd ever seen from a human being and I felt real good ask me how good I felt ladies and gentlemen every

day gives us the opportunity to find our butterflies you don't need fancy clothes nice shoes or lots of makeup you don't need a gym body a thigh gap or a million Instagram followers all you need is love courage and compassion the world needs as many butterflies as we can find so become one

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