Never Speak Again: The Dark Gifts of Transformation
At the 2021 Speaker Slam® Grand Slam, the Inspirational Speaking Finals held at Paradise Theatre in Toronto, Catherine Clark took the stage with a five minute story.
Transcript
i was 30 years old all alone with a cat scan staring me down in a dimly lit montreal hospital room my stomach nodded as the surgeon looked me squarely in the eyes and handed me a dark package you know the kind of dark package no one ever wants like a car accident the death of a loved one or in my case a life-threatening tumor the surgeon pointed to the lime-sized tumor in my throat and said catherine this tumor will take a long time to kill you and if we try to surgically remove it you'll probably be paralyzed on the left side and never speak again
in that moment my praying officially froze i didn't want to feel the gravity of this news never speak again but that's my superpower my strength talking to people connecting what would i do for work how would i communicate never speak again i felt emotionally paralyzed by the mere thought of being voiceless especially when i just got my voice back you see i just left an abusive marriage where i couldn't speak my truth for years and now this tumor this mass of cells in my throat was here to silence me again could it get any worse four weeks later i found myself teetering on the edge
of the subway platform deeply depressed hopeless i was going to die anyway i just want to be out of pain i have to jump my mother's face flashed before me i'm so sorry i jumped mom i just didn't want you to suffer through another slow death like you did with dad i felt a stranger's arm pull me back to safety this was not the time for my life to end but it was the time to start a new life story a chance for rebirth it was a chance to let go of all those painful parts that no longer served me and the first to go
was a successful removal of that tumor i just knew i'd found the right surgeon who would help me keep my voice when he said catherine this surgery will be one for the record books and when the lab results came back as benign we both jumped for joy and i shouted yes because i actually could shout thank goodness my best friend help me get the help i needed for clinical depression and with lots of tears medication and therapy i found out it's okay to just sit with your dark package and feel it all to heal it all i also found how to nurture my authentic voice
and little by little it became louder and clearer until the day arrived when i could look at all of my dark packages as gifts yes gifts that allow you to dig deep face your fears and find your inner truth so i picked up my dark package and i renamed it my dark gift i quit my job went back to school and trained to be a psychotherapist and for 25 years i've helped others see the light in their own dark times and no life hasn't been easy there's been many more dark gifts but now i say bring them on i'm empowered to transform myself again and
again rising above my smoldering ashes a sensational 60 soaring phoenix because the truth is dark gifts are only going to keep on coming so we might as well see them as brilliantly disguised packages for our soul's evolution and they've been hiding in plain sight all along so we might as well lift the lid because the world needs each and every one of us to share our voices share our gifts and shine you
Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.
