Damali Austin

Transcript

There's a person, unmistakable look, someone gives you when they're looking backwards at an unfulfilled life. Standing in that sterile room, that look stripped away every single lie I was telling myself. I was the registered nurse in that room. The person expected to hold all the answers and to provide calm certainty during moments of crisis. I had heard the regrets of the dying many times before. The echoing unanswered question of was it worth it? But on this day that patient's gaze stripped away my facade.

You see, I had no answer. None whatsoever. In that moment, my heart dropped to the floor. My throat tightened up. A sense of fear overcame me. Had I been found out? Was all I could think. Because I didn't have the answer to was it worth it? Because the truth was that I myself was completely unfulfilled. You see, that patient was locked in a permanent retrospective state. Looking backwards, tallying up unfulfilled potential in the heavy silence, it was my choice. I had a choice to make.

Until that fateful day, that patient's ultimate vulnerability might my polished exterior and my entire facade was shot. It wasn't until that moment that I finally admitted the truth. That I was just existing. Living on autopilot and not fully living. What you don't understand is that staying the same is not a neutral placeholder. It is an active decision that carries the irreversible cost And in that moment, I decided I was done. I was done just existing. I was done just living on autopilot because nobody knew my secret.

But on that fateful day, my secret was out. So, I left the room and I embarked on a two-year journey to figure out myself. And to do that, I had to ask all the hard questions. Who am I? Beyond the roles, beyond the achievements, beyond the titles. These were questions we're never really taught to ask ourselves. So, I gave myself the grace and the space to figure it all out. Yes, of course I stumbled along the way. Because in my 41 years of life, I'd never really asked myself any of these deep, meaningful questions.

But today, I'm here to tell you what I learned. You see, reinvention, it's not about starting over from scratch. Nor is it about erasing your entire history and the life that you've built along the way. True reinvention is about taking the very best parts of you and package them up in a way that expresses your true self. And that's what I did. I took my deep empathy, my resilience, my lived experience, my ability to hold space for people in their most vulnerable stages of life.

And today, I'm happy to say that I am deeply fulfilled and living my purpose. Because today, I get to help people through the same uncertainty that I was facing towards a life of purpose and fulfillment. So, here's the thing. When I first outlined this speech, my plan was to tell you that my patients were looking backward and urge you not to do the same. But 5 days ago, I got a phone call. One of my dearest friends passed away in a car accident.

She was a passenger. My mind went back to a phone call that we had in February. She explained that she was lost, unsure of her purpose, and I told her, "Don't worry, I will help you." That bedside patient had the luxury of someday. My friend sudden passing at age 45 strips that luxury of someday away. So today I'm here to tell you that you have to find what activates you and fulfills your purpose. Not someday, today because we might not have that luxury.

So my friends, I have one question for you. What are you waiting to begin? Thank you.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.