How to Overcome Trauma
Speaking on the theme The Road Less Traveled at Speaker Slam® in Toronto on Sep 27, 2017, Hailey Patry took the stage with a five minute story.
Transcript
I stand before you at the same crossroad we've all stood at so many times before life has dipped out something horrible and trauma has us stopped dead in our tracks so which way do we go do we go this way with anger and bitterness and victimhood do we go this way and say things to trauma like you ruined me you screwed up everything I'm never gonna be okay after this do we write letters in our journal to trauma and say things like dear drama I hate you you took away who I was I'm never going to be okay after this and I'm always going to
stay angry and I'm never going to forgive you but we could choose the road less traveled we could go this way and look for forgiveness we had searched so hard to find gratitude and meaning and understanding and we could look at trauma and say if you're a teaching moment what am I here to learn if this is my grindstone how am I supposed to be refined we can look at trauma with intention of being the one who bounces back who makes life better after then it even was before so when you're at your crossroads do you walk where everyone rocks and stay angry or do
you walk with me this way see I consider it the road less traveled to love on all the horrors of the past just gonna walk you through my journals a bit here dear abusive childhood thank you for making me question my self-worth so much and hate my body so much that I went into the fitness fields to heal other bodies in hopes of healing mine thank you for my time in the fitness industry so the girl with the body image issues could meet her ex-husband a fellow personal trainer with his own issues another page in my journal dear abusive ex-husband yeah him too thank you
thank you for trying so hard to break me thank you for being so awful that I knew the exact moment I needed to rescue my son and I from you thank you for the messy divorce thank you for letting me inherit all of your debt thank you for turning me into the single mom who got the story who worked her back off to pay that debt off dear story thank you thank you for giving me platforms and stages where people wanted to hear hey how did the little single mom pay off six figures of debt with a baby with the abusive ex-husband thank you especially
for the platform in Hamilton Ontario 8 years ago where I stood in front of a crowd to share my story and I asked so who has kids no one put their hand up trying to be funny I said oh crap okay who wants to borrow my three-year-old for the weekend and they're right there sir you and the white shirt he was standing right where you were he put his hand up and he said Miss if you're there I'll be there and we've been together for eight years trauma can be a trampoline moment in your life not a trampoline where you step in the middle fall
through the floor and never get up again but a trampoline moment where it slams you down and then you bounce back and then you bounce higher and then you become better and then you go make life awesome anyways see I'm clear it's all perfect I'm standing here in front of you and I was once a little girl with depression and self-hatred in her heart that little girl tried to take her life twice when she was 16 she was violently raped at 17 she went through a lot of trauma but she never stayed on this road too long she never stayed angry or bitter or in
victim consciousness for long she was committed to walking this way you can have love for a rapist you can have compassion for an abuser you can look at all human beings and just trust that they're doing the best they can with what they have and what they know and what they've been through at the time so where are you guys right now where in your life are you at that crossroad and you've been walking for far too long down angry and unforgiving and bitter and blaming and victimhood because I want you to walk with me I want to take your arm I want you to
walk with me this way and we can bring forgiveness to the pain we can bring joy it's the misery we can find the blessings in the mess so my wish for every single one of you is that one day when you write your story you look at all the ugly and you make it beautiful because it's what makes you who you are it's what makes me who I am allow me to be your guide let's go from trauma to the other side thank you
Transcript generated from the recording and shown as captured, without added punctuation. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.
