Dr. Jane Barratt

Transcript

Can everyone hear me? Can you hear me? But do you see me? It was our first meeting, and she asked, "Can I ask how old you are?" "Yes, of course. Of course, ask." "Yes, ask." I felt my face flush, my stomach tighten, and hidden fears begin to emerge. She sat quietly, looking straight at me and just waiting. I panicked and said, "Yes, of course. Of course. You can... you can ask. You can ask." I just didn't expect such a question. Nobody asks me that question now.

Ironic, because I am the former Secretary General of the International Federation on Aging. I fought against age discrimination in the most prestigious halls in the world. I argued at the UN that age should never define a person. I am one of the WHO experts on healthy aging. But one question from the co-founder of Speaker Slam—and I was just stunned. It's been 10 or even 15 years since I told anyone my age. Why do I need this? This is nobody's business. But deep down I knew it had nothing to do with privacy.

It that people associate with the number. Will she enter the room before me, sit in my seat, speak before I can open my mouth? I took the age discrimination box and climbed inside. Nobody asked me for this. I did it myself. And in that moment, I knew clearly what was in that box, because I had heard the pain and disappointment of so many people who felt worthless as they grew older. I will never forget my father-in-law's scream when I walked into the emergency room.

My name is Bernie, Mr. Shaw. I am not dear to you. Don't call me a sun. I broke my hip, not deaf, damn it. But standing here, I was doing exactly what Bernie refused to do, which was to diminish myself and disappear. But it's not just a question of age. The point is in all these questions. When do you plan to retire? Technology is so hard for people your age, is n't it? Do you want me to explain it a few more times so you understand?

You look great for your age, don't you? And so independent. Well done. And lastly: I gave you a discount for seniors. Perfectly. See, all these messages and questions sound so innocent, don't they? Some of them are even approving. But let me tell you, that's not true, because each of these messages whispers to you. You are getting smaller. And if you hear them often enough, eventually you start whispering them yourself. Each of us is getting older. Same direction, same path, same destination.

And you know what? There are no exceptions here. And that's what makes ageism so strange. This is the only discrimination we practice against the future we are all moving towards. We retreat before we are asked, we seem to shrink and shrink, almost apologizing for breathing. We become the voice that was used against us. Identity is not what the world calls you. Identity is the story you choose to believe about yourself. My age has never been a problem. The problem was the importance given to it.

So I'll ask you again. Can you see me? Not a category. The woman in her life. Not outside of it. Not his past. I am inside him. I am 70. That is my age. This is not my identity. And I'm not finished yet.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.