Aliscia Brorman

Transcript

I was a curvy child. The saying, "I got it from my mama." was inherently accurate for me because I literally inherited my curves. I did my best to keep them hidden from the world for as long as I could. But by the fifth grade, my first growth spurt hit and I couldn't hide anymore. First came the nighttime routine. I would pull apart this stiff, hard brace. Then I forced my body into the tiny opening I managed to create, bracing myself for the chills that ran down my spine as that cold plastic encircled my body.

During the day, I made adjustments to my body to appear normal. But by nightfall, the curse of my curves imprisoned me. That worked up until my first growth spurt hit and my lower case S transformed into a capital S. After that, I graduated to the day brace. Now, allow me to explain the nature of these curves. I have a condition called scoliosis. So essentially, my spine was shaped like a backward S. The degree of severity varies per person, but the curvature of my spine was so extreme that the Hunchback of Notre Dame had nothing on the hunch shoulder attached to me.

Initially, I tried to hide my day brace by throwing fashion out the window and wearing baggy t-shirts. But it didn't take long for me to abandon the brace altogether. After all, it was the root of all my problems. It was bulky and uncomfortable and made me feel like a spectacle wherever I went. The longer I rejected my brace, the more damage I caused to both my spine and my mind. Instead of accepting and embracing my curves, I was showing the world a version of me that didn't exist and never would.

A decade ago, I underwent spinal fusion to get rid of my curves once and for all. The surgery involved the placement of two titanium rods and several large screws. I thought I would finally be able to fully embrace my body, but that wasn't the case. My insecurities didn't disappear. They merely shifted. You see, the issue was never the shape of my spine. It was the shape of my mind. All those years my degrading health had nothing to do with my scoliosis.

The ultimate form of health starts within our minds and I was feeding self-destructive thoughts and negativity to myself and expecting somehow to be at peace. I was so lost in trying to make the world view me as normal that I didn't realize the constant body shaming and judgement that I was so afraid of was coming from no one else but me. I didn't love or accept myself and that was the root of all my problems. I was convinced that my self-worth was measured by the water I drank, the vitamins I ate, maintaining a small waist, and not having curves anywhere.

My obsession with other people's view of me was my own slow demise. You see, without self-love and acceptance, that physical body I was working so hard to maintain was dwindling away day by day from within. True health is measured by the quality of our thoughts and the peacefulness of our minds. And I had corroded myself by not realizing that that flood of negative thoughts was only destroying me. It wasn't until I chose to embrace myself, flaws and all, that I was able to become bulletproof.

It began with me talking about my condition and telling my story. And now I even point out how one of my shoulders is slightly higher than the other. And when asked about my scar, I lift my shirt and show it off without hesitation. What was it that David Guetta said in his hit song Titanium? I am bulletproof in mind and in body. Embracing the titanium that straightens my spine and curving my mindset to embrace my body allowed me to see the true beauty, power, strength, and resilience that I possess.

Today I stand before you with both a bulletproof spine and a bulletproof mind.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.