My Journey from Getting Stabbed to Starting a Mental Health Magazine
Speaking on the theme Reinvention at Speaker Slam® in Toronto on Jan 28, 2020, Ally Salama took the stage with a five minute story.
Transcript
all I could hear was the sound of people screaming my back felt numb and as I looked down I was shocked by the color I saw on the ground seeing the way my friends were looking at me I simply thought I was drifting apart I got stabbed nah I was fifteen over a girl I loved her name was Laura what I thought was a punch and a split-second made me react duck and feel something just missed my throat my friends pushed me in the back seat of a car and here we are running out of napkins as I'm pressing as hard as I can to
stop the ebbing flow of blood before we make it to the nearest emergency stop I needed to call my mom I needed to toughen up I had no idea how she'd react but [ __ ] I'm losing blood and no boys at scary feeling time is nearly up later on that night for the first time in my life I was crying for hours laying in bed Laura she never called back what really hurt me the most was loving someone and feeling broken by them especially when you're not feeling worthy enough to be loved you see being raised as a man in the Middle East communicating
emotions wasn't something I was capable of I didn't know anything better than toughening up two months after the incident my mom walks into my room rubs her hand over my back over my scar and asks me Ali I know this has been bothering you now for a while you know we can always go get surgery you can fix this on the back straight into her eyes and I refused I wanted to make sure wearing it was something I was capable of but that moment changed my life forever I started growing this burning sensation and desire to succeed to make it up to feel good enough
so I did what I do best compete toughen up and show the world who I was Student of the Year swimmer of the Year heck singer of the year even when my talent shows my high school's talent show but nothing ever filled my cup not even making it to the World Championships that wasn't even enough the [ __ ] man up look at you you big and you top and you rougher than this rough it's hard growing up feeling things deeply and not knowing how to express them I wasn't until my 20th birthday on the 16th of September 2016 when I finally owned up I
broke out of that shell of mine and I admitted I desperately needed to see someone I realized that in abandoning my scar I wasn't loving myself enough going up often times we're told to toughen up many of us fear showing emotions so we stay silent behind our scars the truth is we all have scars we hide some more visible than others Laura came into my life to show me the capacity of love my heart is capable of but what I've come to learn is that scars do not define us so how are your scars setting you apart and healing my scars I learned that the
strongest people in the world have and carry the biggest hearts and feeling deeply every teardrop we shed weighs gold in a warrior's heart that fifteen-year-old boy he's now using his voice to shed a light on youth suffering in silence and feeling apart starting my region's first Mental Health magazine my greatest strength is now wearing my scar in my back and my heart on my sleeve because as a man that is real tough thank you this is what my granddad rest in peace I love you 50 January 2020
Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.