Breaking Free from Shame & Blame
Speaking on the theme Resilience at Speaker Slam® in Toronto on Jan 28, 2025, Chantal McDougall took the stage with a five minute story.
Transcript
it's my fault it was all my fault I should have been there if only I was a better daughter I could have saved him it's all my fault I was a prisoner in my mind and Community for eight years they made me feel like it was my fault that he was gone for nearly a decade there words has have had me captured and caged banished from his side of the family and banned from ever talking about this and now I know the monster of the story wasn't me it was the mental illness in his mind that took his final breath I was blamed for my
father's death for a decade and I forgot the blame initially came from them but I grew hating myself for it and I know he would be so proud of me today I know he's up there believing in me and proud to share this part this chapter of my story and he's more than his last day he was the kindest most patient most amazing man for as long as I can remember I have had two voices constantly circling in my mind my evil twin stepsisters shame and blame have You Met My evil twin sisters oh the shackles of Shame and the barb wire of blame shame
was so bad I couldn't even drive past anything that reminded me of where he passed I couldn't even watch movie scenes that reminded me of it constantly blaming myself I changed cities and plan to never look back but the thing about Not Looking Back and running is it comes to meet you in your future it becomes big Bigg ger and bigger even when you think you're avoiding it it becomes so big that you become a prisoner from it too as for myself I lived a pretty modern Cinderella story like her I'm kind I look out for people so much I'm always making sure everyone is
okay I'm courageous stuck but still courageous like Cinderella I am kind and unlike her I chose to grant wishes for others I chose to make dreams come true for the people in my life and in my career I'm happy I'm free on the outside but on the inside I still feel stuck I'm still in Chains I'm I'm a prisoner granting wishes for others look so happy and free but a prisoner in my own yeah I look like the Fairy Godmother but I was actually a genie I am a genie still trapped in my bottle being able to grant wishes for others when not my own
until today I set myself free I'm no longer in this Genie lamp this Genie lamp does not define me I claim my story and now I'm no longer a genie I get to claim my title as the Fairy Godmother of Storytelling and that is my story and I am more than my story see we can create our own fairy tales they don't have to exist in story books and storytelling happens in our minds as well you all have a light and I like to see it as a candle l Ln that is shining the way and Paving the way for you so I want you
to do is hold your Lantern Shine Your Light you guys can all look Shine Your Light see the people over there see this is a representation of you and once you own your story you will break free from the shackles of your life
Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.