David Blaser

Transcript

December 1977, 48 years ago. Sbury, Ontario, Holiday Inn. It was the greatest day of my young 18-year-old life. After many years of trying, I'd made the first hockey team at my high school. I was given sweater number five. I couldn't wait to get home to show my parents, my sisters, my family, and my friends. It was my greatest triumph. The attack was sudden and violent. The team burst through the door, pinned me to the floor, arms pinned, legs pinned, torso pinned by multiple players attempting to pull my underwear, my pants around my ankles, hands touching me, preparing to shave what little dignity I had left.

I broke out of the hotel room through the basement window and took refuge for the night in the tiny booth of a 24-hour gas bar next to the hotel. Dressed only in a t-shirt, sweatpants, and socks. I shivered in the December night cold. I didn't rejoin the team and go back to the hotel until morning light. That night I lost all sense of calm, peace, comfort that I had known and in its place the deep shame and sadness that I couldn't fight off a whole hockey team to prevent the event.

I've learned through life that there's a lot of suffering. I suffered. I suffered anxiety, depression, isolation, fear, and self-doubt. Steven Colbear did an interview on his own trauma and he said, "I didn't want it to have happened. I want it not to have happened." But you can't be grateful for your life and pick and choose what you're grateful for. You've got to be grateful for the whole thing. Grateful. That word stuck in my throat. But I knew I had to reflect on that.

And after a while passed, I realized that I needed help. And I began treatment for trauma and PTSD. So, what's the point? Here I am. What's the point? Let me tell you the point. I was born a month premature, four pounds. I had to fight to survive. I credit that fight, the fighting spirit of my parents, of my sisters, the relentless and unwavering love of my sons, the unending support of my dear friends for keeping me alive at times when I really just wanted the pain to stop.

I have always been relentless. I have always been resilient against all odds. Against all odds of success, against all odds of survival, I always found a way. I never stopped. I never quit. I always found a reason. A reason to say yes. Yes to love. Yes to opportunity. Yes to hope. Yes to healing. Yes to professional help and support and yes to becoming a professional certified coach in order to help others. I've learned recently that when you talk about trauma, it begins to lose its power over you.

I've talked a lot about trauma lately. In spite of not wanting that event to have happened, here I am for the first time talking about my story

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.