Deb Penner

Transcript

that was uncomfortable wasn't it how many thoughts flew through your head in those few seconds it was in that discomfort of silence and the barrage of thoughts that I found my most profound transformation a discovery that I can sum up for you in four words think less feel more for most of my life I gave all of my attention to the voice in my head a loud insistent stream of thoughts running at the speed and decibel level of a nuclear-powered chainsaw that voice was like a nightmare Spotify playlist endless covers of the same song titled there is not enough there's not enough money not enough

time or opportunity not enough love not enough of you there is never enough and the more I listened the louder it got reverberating and compounding I could hear the sound of ten thousand women behind me echoing my own voice a mob of ten thousand Debs in Pursuit all playing the playlist through a bull horn there's not enough there's not enough there is not enough so I did what anybody being chased by a mob would do I ran I ran hard and fast I ran professionally from holding down multiple jobs to running a full-time business to two businesses I ran romantically ending a series of disastrous

relationships to run across state lines into the arms of a truly amazing man I even ran literally Spartan races road bike events triathlons on the outside it looked like I was running my life and on the inside I was running myself into the ground in 2017 my hair started to fall out and I added running to new doctors and running for more pills as my symptoms increased hormone dysfunction thyroid abnormalities and irregular heartbeat and still Iran until one day I just couldn't I was completely exhausted I could no longer exercise and there was nothing left for me but still less and I was terrified of

being still the mob of Debs was right behind me if I stopped it felt like I would be torn to shreds I was desperate to keep running but my body could no longer abide by that choice Stillness was my only option and in the Stillness the silence found me and in the silence I could hear my heart whispering and that voice that wasn't just a different soundtrack that was an entirely different instrument when I tuned into this vibration in my body and I asked what was needed I heard you don't need anything you don't have everything you need is here within you there's always enough

you are more than enough this voice was soft and steady and easy the heart doesn't speak in words but in feelings in gentle prompts and simple knowings and in the company of this voice there was no mob there was nowhere to run it was a place of peace and ease a place where I wanted to spend more time and here too the more I listened the louder it got this voice in my heart this sound in my silence and the more I acknowledged and accepted this voice the deeper I moved into myself and the truth that exist within and Beyond my existence since learning to

heed This Heart voice to think later to feel first for the first time in six years I had a doctor's visit end with just call me if anything comes up I've had a normal EKG I'm back to exercising regularly but instinctually letting my body lead I followed my feelings into new supportive friendships and professional networks into a deeper Connection in my marriage and into a work schedule that has ample room for nourishing practices like meditation nature walks quiet reflection and I've now made it my life's work to help women who are like I was who are thinking too hard and running too fast to feel

their own truth and the depth of possibility Within Lao Tzu said to the mind that is still the whole universe surrenders and so we Ponder what is possible if we think less and feel more

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.