Ebi Oginni

Transcript

if you'd been with me in the car you would have seen the moment my face fell the moment that I saw the water tank because that water tank was a sign that I had arrived and the next six weeks of my life will be hell I was 9 years of age and I was been sent to an Air Force boarding school we did this back home in Nigeria because it was felt to build resilience but it was going to be hard for me though because at 9 years of age I was going to be told what to wear when to sleep when to wake and

if I broke any of the rules I could be flogged and there will be no loving arms to come around me to say it's okay and to top it all off I suffered with a medical condition called nocturnal aneuris you probably know this as bedw it essentially meant that my Budd didn't work quite right it meant that I couldn't trust my buddy I couldn't trust that my bladder will fill up and send signals to my brain to wake me up so that I could get up like a normal person and go to the bathroom I lived in constant fear that my secrets will be discovered

you know how I coped with this I coped by ignoring it I cop by pretending that everything was okay pretending that I didn't have this problem even though you could clearly see the wet map under the bed and the stench of peace that went everywhere with me and I certainly wasn't going to take out my mattress to dry under the sun because hello Walk of Shame so I kept pretending until one day when I got into my dmetry five rows of bunk beds on the right five rows on the left and I arrived at my bedside to find my mattress gone and I asked hey

what happened to my mattress oh someone had to take it out we couldn't stand the smell anymore and the flood gates opened up there was a wave of emotion of pain of flood of shame I turned and ran out of the room and I ran to a dear friend Ruth I got on her bed and wept and all of that pain and emotion that I had been shoving down needed to come out Ru didn't say much she just listened patiently as I unburdened my heart and for the first time I let someone in about my struggles with my buddy for the first time I opened

up but for the first time I also began to feel like I wasn't alone in this anymore I could keep going I could persevere let me ask you this when you go through pain is there that special someone in your life that could be your Ruth someone that will listen patiently as your tears fall someone that will put their arms around you and say it's okay cuz we all need that there was something else that Ruth did that set up a chain reaction she was a creative writer and as I watched her find joy in writing and sharing her stories I began to explore songwriting

you see music had been a huge passion of mine since I was little regardless of what I was going through I could listen to music or sing a song and get lost in the joy of IT music was the friend who was always there the friend who always listened and even now when I go through difficulties I turn to music I write a song that gets me through it that helps me persevere you see when we grow old pain doesn't go away but how we face it needs to change so stop pretending that everything is okay and start to let the pain out let someone

in and let your voice be heard so the next time you're going through something difficult I want to leave this with you because this is how I persevere you see I'm growing through the pain I'm growing through the tears I'm growing in the midst of it stronger through the strain I'm healing through the ache I'm growing in the midst of it all thank

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.