Dr. Jackie Eldridge

Transcript

boobs tits Hooters knockers melons tatas the girls and cleavage why are there so many names for memories it doesn't matter what they're called I've always had a love-hate relationship with mine as I approached adolescence my Itty Bitty Titties were slower to develop than every other girl I knew and those witches made sure I knew it they called me the ironing board as a teenager my Mantra was I must I must I must improve my bust I remember stuffing my bra with fluffy round balls of Kleenex or rolled up socks which by the way was a recipe for disaster because when they shifted I had a

taut and a Taw I remember worrying that I would never snag a man because I believed they were all obsessed with Hooters and I didn't have them but I did get married and when I got pregnant with my firstborn my boobs miraculously blossomed and I felt awesome as I nursed my first child I fell in love with my breasts I was lovingly nourishing my baby they were a portable refrigerator a great size and I could wear low top cut tops that were sexy people stopped teasing me and I found myself thinking maybe I should just continue getting pregnant and nursing as luck would have it

I had three children when I weaned my last child I prayed that my beautiful bosom would not deflate like a balloon slowly losing air But as time marched on I noticed my girls were now drooping and most women my age complained that gravity was not their friend on the other hand was still in love with my cleavage because with the right bra they appeared perky and I still felt sexy then tragedy struck several of my friends were diagnosed with breast cancer some had chemo some radiation others lost their breasts and tragically one lost her life I was afraid for my girlfriends and for myself because

my mother had breast cancer I remember how frightened she was and how my peers much younger than her were terrified when my friend passed away it was a huge wake-up call I Revisited my relationship with my breasts and saw that I had been duped by my own personal narrative because size does not matter our breasts are part of what make us women so thankful that my breasts are healthy and there is much I can do to keep them that way I listened closely to my courageous friends as they described their emotional rollercoaster and fearful ruminations about what they could have done to prevent this disease

some felt their bodies had rejected them and others wondered if they'd ever feel the same again but with love and support these powerful women called up every ounce of strength they had to realize their bodies were simply their bodies not their identities I reflected on the many years I believe my identity was tied to my breast size I didn't want to be an ironing board thankfully though I moved from an Age of Innocence to an age of wisdom and I could clearly see how culture and media have seduced us into believing the way we look impacts our value what a Croc I was the same

person whether I was in a b or c after all they are mere letters of the alphabet prescribed by an industry that influences the way people think these bold women taught me that we need to pay close attention to our breasts not because of size or sexiness but because the threat of breast cancer is real one in eight women is diagnosed with this disease my friends taught me about vigilance so that we can continue to be there for our family and friends but perhaps their biggest lesson when you have your health you have everything so be aware be careful and above all love yourself despite

the meaningless letter on your bra the world is a better place with you in it and to all of the men out there who think this message may not be for you think again these women are your mother's sisters Partners aunts and friends we must support each other on this journey so that we can beat this thing together when we look at ourselves Through The Eyes Of Love and realize our bodies are beautiful there is hope thank you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.

Transcript

women are so stupid these bitter words were repeated by my father over and over while mostly directed at my mother when he was in a drunken rage i was a little girl and i knew that one day i was gonna grow up to be a woman the words pierced my heart every time i heard them the message served to shape my identity and was embedded in my psyche sometimes i felt like it was being grabbed by the throat to silence me whenever i tried to prove that i wasn't stupid as a teacher it breaks my heart to see the devastating effects of thoughtless comments on

a child's identity and yet it heartens me to see how simple gestures and kind words can make an enormous impact recently i met angel her name was a misnomer i was told before i ever laid eyes on her as soon as i walked into the classroom she worked her well-rehearsed magic to get my attention talking over me distracting the other students and at one point she took the liberty of correcting me when i made a mistake when i put the class to work angel was having none of it instead she attempted to get that party started and i knew i had met my match i

knelt down beside her and said angel i wonder if you can help me to keep the others on track because you were one of the best leaders i've ever seen she looked at me like i had three heads i told her that she commanded a lot of respect in this classroom because when she spoke people listened and she had the confidence enough to help me when i made a mistake those were signs of a great leader angel's eyes suddenly had a gleam that i had not seen when i first met her no one has ever told me that before she said in that moment i

knew angel had already been wounded by words that were shaping her identity at the age of 35 i entered the doctoral program and i started a new journey one i wouldn't fully understand until the end there were many days on this long and winding road when i questioned my ability doubted my worth and imagined to myself to be the great imposter on the day of my defense i felt like that little girl whose head was filled with so many mixed messages as i walked to the exam room flanked by my committee images of the movie dead man walking came into my head and i felt

weak with uncertainty who did i think i was defending my work in a room full of internationally recognized scholars my father's voice shrieked in my head thankfully i got through my presentation and as i sat outside awaiting the verdict i felt paralyzed by the words that haunted me for so long then the door opened my supervisor walked up beside me and said these words congratulations dr eldridge the flood gates opened and i wept later one of my committee members said jackie you can now put that little voice in your head to rest i was puzzled and then i realized what she meant i hadn't understood

that my doctoral journey had nothing to do with getting a job at a university it had everything to do with proving my father wrong and liberating myself from that negative self-image we are able to reshape our identity through many positive experiences when we embrace who we truly are i now give myself full permission to silence those destructive voices that try to keep me down and there is one thing about which i am very certain women are not stupid

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.