Jessica Swift

Transcript

I don't dare look even though I know that everyone can see it I feel so confused and embarrassed to register what had just happened the bus moves along as if nothing had happened but my life had now changed forever his spit hit my upper shoulder area with contempt and the back of the bus filled with hysterical laughter yet sadly this was just another day in my life as a victim of bullying I internalized these moments with their accompanied words loser ugly stupid by swallowing them down even though they taste like poison whispering to myself I did not ask for this 13-year-old me thought thought that

if I spoke up and told an adult I'd be seen as an attention seeker 36-year-old me now knows that what I needed at that time was for someone to shatter that mirror before I had any opportunity to view myself as the labels that they were sticking to me I needed some form of a helpl line someone to talk to and someone to validate that what I was going through was not okay Jason was the older popular kid in school that everybody looked up to I fantasize about Jason as my prince charming using his dashing good looks and popularity to rescue me from those mean kids

but it was Jason who spit at me that day my mind was perplexed how could someone so captivating from the outside produce such an evil Act from the inside my prince charming now resembled a wicked witch in Disguise just three more minutes I say to myself staring out that window with the visible Target on my back and my fairy tale happy ending turned into a nightmare of mental health challenges leading to a severe eating disorder and clinical depression at 14 years old according to my mom I was that little girl who loved to sit in the backseat of her car staring out in awe telling

her how big and beautiful the world is at local sporting events I'd stand as tall and as proud as I could belting out the National Anthem with so much confidence in my voice if you asked anyone who knew me as a kid they would likely describe me as the same person that I am today a kind loving caring individual who only wants the best for others so why was this happening to me surely I've done something to deserve this being bullied at such a young age shattered any opportunity that I had to develop the necessary confidence and skills to navigate this world as a young

person those kids had the power to beat me down before I could build myself up they made me hate myself and try to change who I was with serious consequences to my health she didn't ask for this my mom said to the pediatrician the day that he officially stamped me with those diagnoses that stuck with me for years now two decades later as a survivor of bullying and having done my own personal healing and research I know Bullies Are Made not born bullying is a learning Behavior using control and perceived power imbalances to mistreat others and Bullies tend to have low self-esteem as a community

mental health nurse I decided to turn my pain into helping others I am that helpl line for others that I so desperately needed and although the work that I do creates impact Society still has the power to stick stigmatize people living with mental health challenges creating these invisible targets of false assumptions and damaging labels these stigmas hurt and they invalidate that mental health matters if we as a society do not break out of this vicious stigmatizing cycle nothing will change and these labels will never be challenged our current generation is headed towards a whole new new view of online bullying through the lens of social

media a villain that I never went up against and a beast in the making although I was able to physically wipe that spit off my back that day in the privacy of a school bathroom it was already too late so instead of being that tissue in someone's life trying to wipe away the damage already done use your words in the moment to break that stigma before it can stick but if you must stick to someone stick to them with kindness stick to them with compassion and stick to them with support I am here for you I believe in you you are not alone you may

never truly realize the positive impact that you could make on the rest of someone's life and I believe that we all deserve to have our own fairy tale happy ending whatever that may look like for you thank you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.