Coach
facilitator
Though she's flourished through four successful careers, Julianna Bootsman only ever had one vocation: to love.
Love is what resurrected her from years of secretive bulimia and a traumatic divorce. It’s what fuels her fire for motherhood and lights the way of her company, White Box Leadership. Globally, Julianna delivers coaching, presentations, and programs built on the universal language that is love. No matter what life brings, Julianna is a guide back to love.
As part of Speaker Slam®'s Amplifying Voices: Women's Empowerment showcase, held online in 2022, Julianna Bootsman shared a story.
At the 2021 Speaker Slam® Grand Slam, the Inspirational Speaking Finals held at Paradise Theatre in Toronto, Julianna Bootsman delivered “Our Mother Tongue: a story of love and destiny” and was named #3 Inspirational Speaker of the Year.
bathrooms the scene of so many life-changing stories it makes sense though the place where we go to get rid of all that stinks and strip ourselves down and cleanse and renew ourselves every day it was august 2009 and i'm seven weeks pregnant i'd only found out days earlier i felt like i was somewhere between heaven and earth no longer where i was and not yet where i will be bent over in my tiny basement bathroom midnight purple walls for years this place felt like a tomb i had trapped myself in but tonight it began to feel like a womb seven weeks pregnant and i'm bulimic
binging and purging every day for the last eight years keeping it a secret from everybody including my then husband who had been married to for eight years at the time he'd gone to bed and my nightly ritual began stuffing myself full of false pleasures hoping to feel everything and nothing at the same time secretly devouring food i'd hidden in corners of the house that never made it on the grocery bill disgusted with myself drowning in shame in secrets this pressure in my stomach building and this pain in my soul aching i did it again kneeled over the porcelain white toilet i threw it all up
and tonight it would be for the last time wiping the spit in vomit from my mouth my throat raw from bile i'm tasting the salty tears running down my face who had i become i was the girl who knew who she was who spoke up when something was off who stood up to the bully who broke into my locker and stole my paper and tried to hand it in as her own i was the one that had the tough conversations made the tough decisions to leave situations that weren't right for me anymore the bulimia for me was not about vanity so what was it looking
in the mirror i saw a split soul tears distorting my view and clearing it at the same time i was living a life that looked vibrant and alive and confident on the outside while slowly dying on the inside from abandoned dreams and all the ways i had lied cheated and betrayed myself and others i just stood there staring numb disillusion and disbelief hanging over me i just kept staring for the first time in my life i wasn't looking away i was going to see all of it until i could see me again years earlier i had gone through this exercise to define my purpose my
purpose to use my passion and determination to inspire others to realize their purpose i knew my purpose but i wasn't fully living it and now i had this soul growing its body inside my body and my soul was being given a direct assignment to fulfill its purpose starting with this miracle and everything began to change i felt this sudden current move through me and this rising conviction this is not who i am i am not going to be nine months pregnant and puking not from nausea but from my own self-destruction and the divine mother in me was awakening and i felt this connection to a
power so much greater than me and the self-hatred and the emptiness began to transform into compassion and devotion and i felt this soft voice you're loved and safe naked new fragile and free wide open eyes i'm ready i heard i'm being born anew i walked out of that basement bathroom that day and i never went back i began to create new rituals ones of daily renewal and in the same way that i lovingly and consistently cared for my newborn i would care for myself and i would go back and look in that mirror and i still do every day and i see myself the good
the bad the mess and the miracle and as i transform the way i see that which i see transforms and when i do this within myself i get to see everyone and everything as new and together we became and become free to be exactly who we are here to be you
Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.
Speaking on the theme Fathers at Speaker Slam®'s online competition in Jun 23, 2021, Julianna Bootsman took the stage with a five minute story and placed second.
i don't remember exactly when it started but i do recall one morning it was may 704 am the light was just starting to come up the door cracks open just a bit getting out of bed in the morning has never been my strong suit but i lift my head towards the door my eyelids heavy and i see my dad peeking in my parents house my bedroom door was the last one you passed on the way out to the garage when my dad left for work each morning walking past my room he'd pause never leaving before checking in i'd smile and without missing a beat i'd
take my two feet out from under the covers and rest them on top of the sheets my dad would smile picking up on my not-so-subtle queue and he'd come in and sit down on the edge of my bed and he'd give each one of my feet a genuinely loving 20 to 30 second massage then he'd kiss me on the forehead i love you sweet pea have a great day you're beautiful and he'd head on his way i'm not sure my dad really knew what he was doing but those extra 90 seconds each morning really meant as a parent myself i know how easy it is
to get caught up with the busyness of life and the rush and walk right past those doors waiting to be cracked open my father's wish i'm sure as it's my own for my children is to do his best to love me in a way that keeps me stepping in the direction of a life that feels alive and full of love and joy and is a true expression of my soul but ultimately he knows it's my feet and my boots walking my own walk and not much is up to him 90 seconds consistently every morning there was something so special about having my feet cared for
and touched before they stepped on the earth it was as if this silent conversation that we had shared each morning was a sort of morning prayer lived in action for his daughter's souls the two on the bottom of my feet that would carry me where i would go and the one in the center of my being that would guide the way when he was touching my feet he was talking to my soul in these 90 seconds we shared i learned the power of transformational time and what it really means to love my dad taught me that love doesn't take more time it takes presence be
all where you are in the time that you have even if it's only 90 seconds the way that my dad loved me showed me how to walk even after i stepped into shoes that were not my own and i lost my way cramming my feet into character shoes that were no longer mine to dance in sloshing around in steel-toed boots at a job that never had my name on it walking the aisle and golden slippers that carried a dream i never fully dreamt journeying from room to room feet now bruised and blistered and bleeding in shoes that once fit so well that i'd long outgrown
yet couldn't bear to let go of for fear of not knowing where my feet would find themselves next there lost in the dark i remember my dad's love i throw away the shoes and the heavy boots and the golden slippers and i put the soles of my feet in my own hands a silent conversation a prayer i give myself 90 seconds every day consistently me and my souls barefoot beautiful and brave i walk my way back into my own boots my dad taught me how to find my way home when he wasn't there in my darkest of dark his teachings were clear it's not about
the big actions the school degrees the gifts the boats or the beach vacations it's about pausing and never walking past a door that's asking to be cracked open
Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.
Speaking on the theme Self-Acceptance at Speaker Slam®'s online competition in Apr 21, 2021, Julianna Bootsman took the stage with a five minute story.
Speaking on the theme Love Lessons at Speaker Slam®'s online competition in Feb 9, 2021, Julianna Bootsman took the stage with a five minute story.
Julianna is one of the speakers who have told their story on the Speaker Slam® stage since 2016. The next one could be you.
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