Katie Faloon-Drew

Transcript

They say that confidence attracts. That it should be our main goal. So isn't it ironic that the day I was most confident became the day I felt the worst. That was 10 years ago. I am 34 years old. My husband and I just left our two wonderful sons with my parents and are heading off to a beautiful wedding. The weather is beautiful outside and I look good. My green dress hugs the figure I've been struggling to get back into shape after giving birth.

My $250 braid extensions create natural waves. And my false eyelashes are so heavy, but I guess they make my eyes more expressive. Oh, I'm confident. I am simply the embodiment of success. Appearance is. Family is there. Master's degree is available. Great work—it is. And imagine a house with a white picket fence around it. There is, there is, there is. I literally checked off all the boxes that society required for happiness, but I'm falling apart. This morning my anxiety was so strong that I could barely get out of bed.

In fact, it's so strong that I'm on mental health leave, and none of my friends at this wedding even know because how dare I, how dare I feel sad and depressed when I have everything? How dare I complain when many people have it much worse than me? So I keep quiet and keep that smile on my painted face. But today I feel the mask slipping. Something has to change. So a few days later, I finally go to the therapist and tell her, "I don't understand.

I don't know what else to do." And she tells me something that changes the course of my life. She said, "Kathy, maybe that's the problem." Maybe you need to do less and maybe you need to be more. that I needed something deeper than confidence. I wanted to glow from within. I didn't want to depend on external approval after achieving my goals. I wanted to feel joy now, amidst this chaos. I wanted to feel full of energy. But I knew that to do that, I had to stop giving my all to the pursuit of success, whatever that meant.

no." No trying to be perfect. Yes— trying to do everything in my power. No— the desire to care so much about what. And so—in order to improve your own opinion of yourself. No— to diets and exhausting workouts to love yourself. And so—to the movement and nourishment of my body, because I already do it. And no, clothes that make you feel uncomfortable. And so—to be real. Do you know what I understood? Living a vibrant life is not difficult at all. It's a choice.

You choose. You either give away your current joy in pursuit of someone or something that will finally make you feel like you are good enough. Or you choose to feel bright right now, despite all your flaws. Our friend who got married that day died two years ago from cancer, leaving behind a wife and a beautiful daughter. So damn him if I waste even a minute of this precious life in vain. I hope you will join me. I hope you will change the frantic pursuit of a confident appearance into a bold decision to feel vibrant right now, just as you are.

And all those false thoughts that we will be happier if we become thinner, richer, or more perfect. We have two powerful words, do n't we? Well, him.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.