Lacey Artemis

Transcript

Creativity. It's in my DNA. I was doodling and from when I was in diapers, drawing on everything. If there was a surface, I was going to make it art. That's what little me was compelled to do. But as I grew older, the world did what the world often does. and it asked questions that weren't really questions like, "Can you make a living as an artist?" No. No. That word would follow me around like a gatekeeper. I bowed to the pressure. I took the safe route.

I got the office job. I ticked the boxes. And I stayed inside the lines. I still created, but only on the outer edges of my life. I wrote music. I wrote a book. I started a podcast. My friends were impressed. But it never seemed to amount to more because I was still listening to the voices that were saying, "This is just a hobby. This is not a real career." But something did light me up. The podcast, talking to people, real stories and deeper connections.

It sparked something in me. But still, I was told, "Forget the creative projects, Lacy. You need to focus. You need to niche down." Famous last words, right? I tried to do it their way. I really did. I ended up in the same job for seven years, stagnant, unseen, unfulfilled. I asked myself, could I go back to school? No. Did I know what to go back to school for? No. I was lost and none of the advice that I was receiving was leading me anywhere new.

You see, I'm not just creative. I'm neurodeivergent. A proud mix of autism and ADHD. My brain dances to its own rhythm. I don't fit inside the box because I was never meant to. But no was shining a blinding light in my face and giving me a headache. In early 2023, I finally broke and hit my rock bottom. I was 39 years old, burnt out, no career path that I believed in, and I felt no hope. This is not how it was supposed to be.

But in my existential darkness, I remembered the podcast, that spark, and that joy. And I made a crucial decision. I needed to lean back in. So, I began speaking and performing and creating events that helped me feel alive. But my job was sucking away my energy like a giant black hole. So, I tried to ask for time off. I tried to ask for help. And I was told, "No, there is too much work to do. Unless you're in the hospital, you need to be here."

Well, my body took that cue. That's exactly where I ended up. My stress became physical and my health forced me to stop pushing so hard. I went to my doctor and I got a note for medical leave and I brought it to my boss. And then came the moment my boss asked me, "Well, Lacy, do you want to come back after your leave?" Because legally they had to offer. And so much inside of me, from the chronic people pleaser to the perfectionist to the voice that said, "Be grateful for what you have."

I almost said yes. But I hesitated because inside my neurode divergent brain was just screaming at me, "Don't do it." And I finally listened and I told my boss no because no can be a prison, but it could also be your power. When the world says no to you, that's your cue to say yes to yourself. No to the jobs that keep you small. No to the past that don't take you where you want to go. No to the expectations that tell you that you're not enough or you're too much.

Because every time I have said yes to my truth, my creativity, my neurodeivergent magic, great things have happened. All the things that I am most proud of in my life. And that is the power of no. No is not the end. It's the beginning of becoming everything they said you couldn't be. The stage is my happy place. It's where I get to shine the brightest. With or without a microphone in my hand, I speak my shine language. And these days, I get to shine every day and help other people do the same.

Thank you.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.