Martin Parker

Transcript

don't ever say it can't happen to you life is a funny way of proving you wrong one day i asked my mom why she told me she loved me so much she said son when i first held you in my arms i cried finally realizing what true love was and just in case i want you to know my mom never feeling loved growing up always made sure she expressed it and always made sure i knew it this was my first lesson in love it was abundant and honest it gave me confidence and assurance but after a few bad relationships ending in dishonesty and heartbreak i

became bitter and my confidence dwindled later i'd be called calloused and unemotional when really i was a narcissistic [ __ ] i used it to avoid real feelings in real relationships and swearing off women altogether until she walked in anna was the hottest sexiest girl i had ever seen in no way would she be interested in me what a beautiful thing to be wrong about our relationship was physical right away we couldn't keep our hands off each other every chance i got i drive down to where she lives with her dad who wasn't a big fan of mine she'd jump in in her low rider

jeans which wouldn't be on for very long and then we drive north of the city doing what we did best each other i always felt something deeper towards her and missed her when she wasn't around but i wouldn't let her know one day before work anna called me up to her apartment said she needed to talk i assumed i was being dumped that's why i was surprised when her dad answered the door she sat us down the living room and that's when anna dropped the bomb she was pregnant in no way did i want this responsibility i was scared but as i looked into her

eyes it calmed me and i took a deep breath and i said i got this her dad on the other hand looked at me like he wanted to rip my balls off with his bare hands he said how could you guys be so god damn irresponsible your lies are [ __ ] now good luck figuring this [ __ ] out and he walked out the door slamming it behind him and i sat alone together in the apartment i didn't know what to say i definitely had to go to work now i was about to be a dad she hugged me goodbye at the bottom of

the stairs a warm feeling flowed through my body melting my calluses a wonderful connection between the two lives i was holding i wonder if this is what my mom was talking about excitement and joy filled my heart for our future but i wouldn't let her know the next day i texted her no answer text doctor's text still no answer i called her no answer not a good time to leave me hanging finally the phone rang her name flashed across the screen i got excited i picked it up and i said hello beautiful but it was her dad apparently all alone while we were at work

and decided it was all too much and she took her own life i killed him he said my words killed them as i hung up the phone i realized i was just as guilty for my words my words i didn't say how could i be so selfish how could i abandon her in her time of need now i have to live with the responsibility of two lives and the infinite sadness of a future that will never be are you depending on tomorrow don't we can't control other people's actions and we can't control time but we can affect them i'm telling you this just in case

i want you to know

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.