Michelle Coghlin

Transcript

An incoming call flashed on the screen. It lasted less than 5 minutes. 5 minutes to erase 21 years. When I hung up the phone, my corporate career was over. Losing a job is stressful for everyone, but I was n't just losing my salary. As a single mother with three children, two of whom have complex neurological disorders, I lived on a strict schedule. Every doctor's visit, every trip to school— our world was a routine. I built an entire ecosystem so my family could move forward.

The foundation that held all of this together was my work. Income, social benefits, confidence—everything disappeared in an instant. And at that moment, my brain went into survival mode. How long will the benefits last? What severance pay can I expect? My daughter's medical bills alone were $4,000 a month. And by that time, these costs had been fully covered. I did n't think about what would happen next. I was only thinking about the safety of my family. And yes, it was scary. But there is something else that I still can't understand.

Imagine: 21 years of working side by side with other people. Meetings, dinners, laughter and life together. And then one day it all ends. And not a single " goodbye." None. How would you feel? I'll tell you how it was. Humiliating. I remember sitting alone with tears in my eyes, wondering how someone could give so much of themselves to a cause and then disappear without a single word of goodbye. If survival mode has given me any gift, it's this one. He didn't let me stay broken for long.

Without even realizing it, I was doing everything that others—and I —thought I should do. I packed up and went looking for another 9-to-5 job. I updated my resume, polished my interview skills, and within a few months I was back in front of a corporate monitor doing a job I knew well. Only this time, instead of relief, I felt emptiness. I remember thinking: "This is all nonsense." After 21 years of work—how do I have to prove anything to anyone again? New bosses, new colleagues, only 2 weeks of vacation?

It was like going back to an ex- partner you broke up with. At first it seems like a great idea, but after a few days you ask yourself, “God, what have I done?” I can find something much better. And then it dawned on me. The problem was n't that I lost my job. The problem was that I was desperately trying to squeeze myself back into a personality that no longer suited me. And as if the universe was trying to make sure I got the message, that second job disappeared too.

And at that moment I realized that there was no turning back. So for the first time in my life I stopped. I stopped chasing my lost life and instead plunged into the unknown. And in that silence, I began to let her go. Corporate Michelle, the woman who always knew the answer in advance. And in letting her go, I began to discover parts of myself that were buried beneath who I was supposed to be to others. What I discovered was not a new career, but a new understanding of myself.

Looking back, corporate Michelle wasn't wrong. She helped protect my family, provide for them, and keep us safe. I want you to take this message with you. Sometimes life forces you to adopt a new identity. And sometimes you can choose it yourself. In any case, we are not tied to one person forever. That 5-minute phone call, it wasn't the end of my story, it was my invitation. My invitation is to stop defining myself by who I have always been and start choosing who I want to become.

And tonight I want to extend this invitation to all of you. Perhaps the personality you carried accomplished exactly what it was needed for. But don't confuse a temporary role with your true self. Accept this invitation, because the version of you that brought you here is not necessarily the one that will take you further. Thank you.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.