Nadee Fernando O'Driscoll

Transcript

Once upon a time in a small tropical island in South Asia, there lived a little girl with deep brown skin. In her world, beauty meant being fair. Yet she grew up surrounded by love. One day her favorite aunt hugged her tight and said with a laugh, "Oh, your mother, she always wanted fairkinned children. Yet here you are, dark as a raven." The little girl laughed. But inside her heart shattered, wondering, "Am I not enough?" That little girl was me. and I spent years trying to lighten my skin to change my DNA.

Fortunately, life always presents us with opportunities and I got minded when I went to university. There I met people who were not bound by these narrow traditional beauty standards and I saw women of my color on the world stage and being cheered on. Finally, I realized that your true beauty and selfworth, it comes from within, not from your skin color or from the society. And I finally broke free from those chains of colorism, a form of discrimination based on skin color.

Oh, but that was just the opening act. You see, the society loves to box us in how to look, what to say, who we are supposed to be. so restrictive that they weigh us down like invisible chains. I have seen intelligent strong women trapped in abusive marriages because a weight of the judgment outweighs the pain of abuse. My first marriage ended about 12 years ago. Shortly after, a friend of mine dropped in for a visit. We were having a cup of tea and she goes, "By the way, I didn't tell my husband that I'm coming over.

You see, my mother-in-law is at home and they might think you're a bad influence now that you are divorced." Really? What is divorce contagious now? Should I be in quarantine? And this was right here in Canada, by the way. That hit me though at that moment. But I realized that as long as I allow these stereotypes, one day my daughter is going to inherit them. So I said enough. I'm done. And I started building this world where we both could be free.

And no, I didn't stay in quarantine either. I met my very white Irish husband. The sun comes out, so does his shirt. And he's baking in the sun while I still run to shade. But it's not because I'm afraid of colorism. I know I'm more than enough. What I didn't realize though is that as long as all of us all of us stay within these chains and confined, none of us truly are. I thought I was free. And that truth landed me a gut punch about two years ago when I found uh uncovered a family secret.

A woman in my family who wishes to remain anonymous was forced to give up her firstborn for adoption because she was unmarried at the time. Not an uncommon story. But it doesn't end there. When we wanted to find this child, now a grown woman, we were told to leave it be. Why? Oh, it's going to bring shame to the family. that child is going to be ostracized simply for being an adoptee in 2025. Adoption stigma is still a reality. Imagine that.

The same judgmental society that victimized that mother and child is added again. Hearing the pain in that mother's voice, knowing that there are thousands of children living in fear, I knew that silence wasn't an option. Somewhere right now there is a little brown girl wondering if she's enough under the weight of colorism. Silence is not an option. So at the age of 49, I made a decision to go out into the world, leave that safe world and speak out loud to challenge those traditions that breed discrimination.

Just imagine how great this world would be if we were to uplift each other with acceptance instead of pull us down with those prejudices. So here I am raising my voice because I wasn't born to walk in chains. Neither are you. We are here to be free. So together, let's melt those chains away and create a better world. Thank you.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.