Nisha Goyal

Transcript

I missed the memo it was December 25th of 2016. Christmas the day to be with family I sat alone in my house drowning in loneliness I felt like I was reliving that Infamous scene from Bridget Jones's Diary where she sits on the couch in a drunken stupor waving a bottle of vodka singing All By Myself I was 42 Child free and single not married with kids like I thought I would be at that age my Indian upbringing had been clear get an arranged marriage to an Indian doctor buy a house have babies and then fall in love I didn't meet that standard I felt like

a failure I had decided to relocate my entire life because I thought that if I changed my surroundings I would be happier New City New Life new me but it didn't work I was still alone in this Suburban house I bought surround and by women with baby carriages and husbands mowing the lawn I didn't belong the shame engulfed me like fire on wood I repeatedly asked myself how did I get here what's wrong with me how did everyone else get the memo you know the get married and have a baby memo the memo that shouted from every Hallmark aisle a card celebrating every major milestone

in a woman's life and yet another painful reminder that we don't belong the constant pressure and my inability to tick the boxes led me to see myself as a failure unworthy unlovable that night marked one of many Rock bottoms for me I realized that I had to write my own memo instead of constantly beating myself up for not living up to this ideal seven years later I stand before you still a single and child-free woman but I am different that night I embarked on a healing Journey the one luxury I've had in my life is freedom the freedom to truly be with myself I dove

had first into dating myself I dissected my beliefs and values I finally learned the true meaning of self-love and self-care I took myself to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro I sat on a tropical beach alone and enjoyed the ocean breeze I embraced solo date night at the Opera I learned to practice abundance and gratitude every day I stewed in my darkness I broke up with myself many times but in the end I always chose myself I've gone from feeling like I don't belong to knowing that the only person I need to belong to is myself I've gone from feeling like I am unworthy and unlovable

for being single and Child free and midlife to the internal knowing that I am after a lifetime of feeling as though I don't belong the hurt and the pain and the shame have subsided I'm left with the calm knowing that I have value that my life has meaning today I support Empower and celebrate other single child-free professional women to find their belonging from within and write their own memo we all deserve to have our lives celebrated with a Hallmark card so tonight I offer you this congratulations for living your best life on your own terms you make it possible for women everywhere to live and

choose the life they want to live you are enough you are worthy you belong

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