Stacey Lynnes

Transcript

I stood there staring into the eyes of the person I let turn my entire life upside down I remembered being that 15-year-old girl desperately searching for my own identity and somehow believing it was wrapped up in his popularity and I was wrong and I lost everything I lost my family my self-esteem my confidence and my youth I stood there and I felt his hands tighten on my neck and I struggled to breathe I saw the rage in his eyes become a calm deliberation and I thought oh my God he's going to kill me I fought back with everything I had and I survived that night

but the next morning when I got up and I saw those ugly purple bruises on my neck I felt so ashamed ashamed of who I had become ashamed of what I was but I swore to myself there is no way if I ever get out of this I will ever let anyone get close to me again a few days later with the help of my family I left I worked hard to rebuild I had my family back my high school diploma I worked multiple jobs I got married I had two incredible boys and I even put myself through law school but none of that none

of that gave me that sense of inner peace happiness and joy and it's not like I didn't go looking for it every time I went though I heard those words you're short you're fat you're ugly and you're stupid and no one will ever love someone like you I carried his words with me for decades and I never gave up searching for those missing pieces of me that I thought I had lost forever little did I know in just October of this year I'd find those pieces when we fulfilled my deep calling to go to Africa it was there I stood on the equator and I

felt my spirit and my soul realign with the sun shining on my face I sat in the comfortable silence and I welcomed the inner peace that I got watching the Lions as they roamed freely and in the eyes of the Ugandan children we saw pure joy as they ran up to their Road as we drove by and they laughed and they danced and all they wanted was a smile and a wave as we drove by and when I stood there staring into into the eyes of those silverback gorillas I felt all my missing pieces come back to me but none of this compared to the

feelings and the sense of purpose that I got when I met Evelyn Evelyn is a Ugandan woman who escaped her Tiny Village she got an education and she had a good job but then she walked away from all of it only to go back to her community because she wanted to support the women she left behind the ones living in poverty with AIDS and physical abuse she shares her story so she can Inspire other women to rewrite theirs she fills their days with purpose and pride she teaches them the skills and the tools that they need to be independent and feel empowered she has a

community built on strength love and joy in Evelyn I found myself I felt the joy of these beautiful women as they sang and they dance with their red and yellow skirts flying around them and when one woman walked up and put her hands on my neck I felt fulfillment when she presented me with a traditional ceremonial necklace that represents the strength that you have when your community stands beside you I am home now and I relive these experiences every single day because I finally feel alive I feel whole and I am on fire because I now am strong enough to embrace my story with strength

and confidence instead of Shame and I am so inspired because all I want to do is share my story with other women so they too can step into their purpose and their power I could stand here right now and I can think about the person that tried to destroy me and I could be filled with anger and rage but I'm not you see we all have experiences that bring us to our knees and we all have the power to rewrite the meaning that we give those experiences to pul our purpose from our pain and our joy from our healing and I promise you one thing

you don't have to go around the world to find it it is never too late because I stand here tonight as living proof thank you thank you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.

Transcript

years old and I had every creature Comfort a girl could want I had my own room a queen-size bed purple shag carpet color TV and a sunset mural on my wall in the backyard we had a pool behind our modern A-Frame house in a great upper middle class neighborhood and a boyfriend my parents did not like was I stubborn blind a bit of both who knows but what I do know is the day I left home I took three things with me my garbage bag full of clothes my father's last words predicting a very Bleak future my response screw you I'm gonna be a lawyer

and with that I turned and I walked away from my family home and I built the toughest exterior I could imagine because I had no clue what was about to come my way could I have turned back yeah yeah did I no I'd convinced myself I had no choice so off I went this terrified little girl with the can't hurt me attitude and not a clue how I would survive I learned to live small and hide in plain sight because if you can't see me you can't hurt me I was agreeable never confrontational especially in a world filled with drugs and violence I was resilient

I went to school I worked and I found places to live I knew who could protect me and who couldn't I became the chameleon I could be any person I needed to be in any given situation and I lived inside my head a lot thinking about where I was where my life was going and the place I used to belong it took five long years but I literally escaped with my life and as I turned to walk back towards my family home I was still that scared little girl with the can't hurt me attitude only this time I'm hoping for a happy family reunion I'm

hoping we can just pick up where we left off but I was wrong my sisters they grow up without me my family moved on without me and just like that that one place I knew I belonged was gone so I took stock of my resources and I gathered my wits because there was no way I was going to live small no this time I had something to prove we move forward my family and I I got married I had two boys it was always tough but somehow I made it work and I never ever forgot the defiant promise I made to my dad and at

the age of 37 years old this 15 year old teenage runaway with nothing more than a high school diploma two teenage boys and not enough money got accepted to law school and my first thought baby I am back I am back to the place where I should have been if only things had been different 25 years earlier so why did I still feel like I didn't belong I'd survived I'd beaten the odds so I went back inside my head and I went searching for answers and this is what I've learned I've learned that belonging doesn't come from titles accolades my fancy lawyer robes or my

purple shag carpet no it's not what you have or don't have what you've done what you haven't done and it doesn't come from living up to everybody else's expectations because I promise you my friends when you do that you leave little pieces of yourself behind every single time no belonging comes from our ability to be resilient our capacity to learn and the power that comes from rewriting our stories from reframing our narratives it is not something you go searching for like a buried treasure because as brene brown said true belonging only happens when you finally introduce your authentic imperfect self to the world thank you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.