Tina Calleri

Transcript

I closed the door behind me and said: never again. The moment he punched me in the face, I realized that my life would never be the same. I could feel his fingerprints on my face. The shock hit me harder than the pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks like cement. Then he turns to me and says, “I am your husband now. "You do what I say, when I say it, how I say it, and keep your mouth shut." All this because I said "stop" when I saw him flirting with another woman 2 hours after we signed at city hall.

He was 20 years old, tall, handsome, attractive, fresh from the Italian Marines. I was 16 and in love with it all. I didn't know anything, but even then I felt that he would cause trouble. That evening I went to my parents and told them what had happened. I said, "I don't want to marry him." They were angry. In a panic, the father shouted, “You are now legally married. Church wedding in 2 weeks. "Invitations have already been sent out." And then he blurted out that terrible phrase that has haunted me my whole life: "What will people say?"

I fell silent, trapped between my parents' fears and my own. And they just hushed it all up, as if nothing had happened. During the ceremony in the church, I looked at my parents and said, "I agree." Just to calm their fear. At that moment, I lost my identity. Several months have passed. Everything was calm. But one day we had a loud argument. He grabbed me and beat me brutally, leaving me lying on the floor with two bruises under my eyes, a broken lip, and a bloody face.

I was trembling, terrified, afraid of losing my child. I was in my third month of pregnancy. I still called the police, but in the 70s, domestic violence was not recognized by law. I was told to go to the nearest courthouse and file a complaint. But when I heard this, the only thing I thought about was, "What will people say?" For many years, I kept the abuse a secret, pretending to live a happy life. Fear became my constant companion. I did what he said, when he said it, how he said it, and kept my mouth shut.

Silence was my salvation. I am now 35, I have three children, and this horror still continues. One evening I faced the most difficult moment of my life. I found him with another woman. The pain I felt in that moment was worse than any physical abuse I had endured. This became a starting point for me. The next day I filed for divorce. As I signed these papers, I felt 17 years of my life disappearing with each stroke of the pen. I felt my personality awakening after many years of oblivion..

And I found my voice again. I shouted the loudest word: "No. " Not to my parents, not to violence, not to that terrible phrase that haunted me my whole life. And with every "no" I got myself back. I left the lawyer's office, closed the door, and said, "Never again." Today I stand before you as a mother, a business owner, an author, a speaker, but first and foremost, as a survivor. Not because it got easier, but because I stopped thinking about what others would say.

And I shouted the loudest word. What's stopping you from shouting that loudest word? Is it fear? Is this silence? What is this? Sometimes, there are moments when memories escape from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. But the best moments for me are when my favorite Sia song is playing. I turn it up to full volume and sing at the top of my lungs. Reminding myself how far I've come. I am uncontrollable. I'm like a Porsche without brakes. I am invincible.

I win every game. I'm back.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.