Vanessa Jass

Transcript

Vanessa Jass ibsc I can't do this I am not smart enough I am too overweight I'm not as good as them it doesn't matter what I say anyway so why should I bother sound familiar have any of you said anything like these things to yourself I know that I certainly have these statements that we say to ourselves on a daily basis can be enough to totally change our decision in any given situation it can stop you from taking a chance and asking for that race it can stop you from asking out that little cutie you saw at the gym it can even prevent you from

taking a small shift that would completely change the trajectory of your life I call this voice in my head my itty bitty shitty committee I am so elated to be on this stage tonight and in awe of the experiences that have led me here to share a little tidbit of knowledge with you at 19 years old as I ran through the dark damp and Rainy Streets of Ottawa with my shoes in my hand and in my bare feet I certainly wasn't thinking about my future I was only thinking about the moments and my survival and the days ahead of me in my newfound freedom I

had no choice but to immediately start making decisions that would totally change my future I wasn't starting from the bottom I was starting about 10 floors below the bottom after 18 months of being exploited in the barbaric world of sex trafficking I certainly suffered a negative self-image being bought and sold as a commodity reduced my soul to a level that most people will never experience in their lifetimes the voices in my head were screaming that I was nothing that I was worthless in that my life didn't matter the thoughts my my feelings of worthlessness and my recurring depression caused by my self-loathing was sometimes debilitating

uh it was hard to ignore the voices that were screaming that I wouldn't make it that I didn't deserve to be alive and obtain success it was almost impossible to silence those things as I went through my journey the definition for Concord is to gain Mastery over something or to win by overcoming your obstacles or opposition I have conquered sex trafficking I have conquered University and law school I have conquered being a lawyer I've conquered single parenting I'm still trying to conquer marriage but there's one thing that I've always struggled with in my life there was one thing as recent as Leah's last year that

was holding me back I was sitting on the verge of doing amazing things for survivors and having a huge impact on the world but something was causing me to to procrastinate something was stopping me from going full force with my projects something so crippling that oh it was taking away my growth and my potential which never should be limited it was my itty bitty shitty committee I had to finally recognize that it was me that sat at the head of that table I was the chairperson of the board I decided what was said to the mind and what it produced to my soul you can't

do this wait I have accomplished so much in my life why would I stop now you're not smart enough what I went through University law school and I have a successful business I think I'm smart enough you are not as good as them I achieved the same as many others however I did it after I crawled out of horrible circumstances I went from being the inferior to being their equals you are not enough wait a minute how can all of this beauty brains and personality not be enough it's impossible all we need to do in life is to recognize that we have this little committee

that we can take control of any time we want when we hear those negative and limiting beliefs screaming in our brains all we need to do is stand up take charge and direct your itty bitty shitty committee to the truth allow yourself to live to your fullest potential and don't allow any beliefs or anything stop you from achieving what you dream of if I can do it you certainly can too thank you thank you

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Transcript

it's February 26th today and I wasn't supposed to be here when I was 17 years old I found myself homeless I sofa surfed for about 6 months before ending up in the nearby City I did a short stint at high school worked at the local McDonald's and a few months after that I was told that my free rent on the sofa in a rooming house wouldn't be free anymore I was told that I had to do the same thing that they had to do in order to stay in that house they said it would be easy they fixed my hair they did my makeup they

chose my clothes for me after the first night I was numb but I knew in my heart and my soul that this honor student didn't belong there with those people doing those things I knew I had to leave but I had no choice I had nowhere to go and nobody to turn to plus I was watched 24 hours a day 7 days a week I made up this little plan to hide $20 which was just enough for a taxi drive to the bus stop and a one-way ticket home I had no idea what I would do when I got home I just knew I had

to leave that night no more rules no more sex work no more living every day in fear of a slap a beating or Worse no more that night I wore sneakers and jeans instead of my required heels and Minik skirt in the middle of winter February 26th as I stepped out that night with my roommate my friend my sister Kelly she wore the required uniform black minis skirt purple tank top black heels and a gray jacket as we went out a car pulled up and the driver was eyeing 17-year-old Kelly I noticed this but I said to myself this is my chance this is my

chance to get that $20 and make the last bus home I ran past her over the icy sidewalk as she struggled to walk in her high heels I looked back at her waved smiled and laughed at her as I made it to the car first I jumped in the car enjoyed the warmth and then drove off that was the last I saw Kelly alive that night for she was murdered by the very next car that picked her up I searched all night and collapsed in my bed only to be told by the morning news that they had found a body in a nearby garbage can

since I was the last one to identify her or I was the last one to see her I had to ID her body the next day black Minik skirt purple tank top black heels and a gray jacket her face was so bruised purple and swollen and her lips were pursed unnaturally shut it's an image that I have that has haunted my memory for my entire life after being put in that situation I knew I had to get out but it took me three Escape attempts several beatings and close calls on my own life before I got out shortly after I gave birth to my wonderful

son and I knew I had to keep going I had to prove to him and provide to him a better life that I had I worked desperately hard to ensure that he did not have to witness and experience all the things that I had in such a short time on Earth I returned to high school through the ridicule and the shame then University and then law lawyer I never really quite fit in though because I always had the memories racing through my mind and the constant fear of being found out I knew that God saved me that day and picked me that day for a

purpose I just didn't know what it was I had always struggled with my purpose in life and asked myself the question why not me through every struggle why not me through every heartbreak why not me through every failure God why didn't you take me that night I changed my focus from appreciation or to appreciation from victimization both words beg the same question to me why not me however I changed it from why not me to why not me I suddenly realized through all the struggles I had the UPS the Downs the brick walls that were put in front of my face had I hurt myself

like I often thought about doing or gave up on my own life I would have never found my purpose to help other girls that were in this same situation as this one I would have never found my immense gratitude for God not taking me that night I am sorry Vanessa for the things that you had to go through when you were so young I forgive you for all the things that you had to do in order to survive thank you Vanessa for not just surviving but thriving and going through this amazing life living living full out like a warrior Queen I love you for all

of the experiences because they have shaped me into the woman the wife the mother the lawyer and the entrepreneur that I am today it's February 26th again and I am supposed to be here

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.