Andrew Daye

Transcript

TEST, TEST. I WANT YOU TO think of your favorite story. This could be a movie, a book. Then quick show of hands when you have it. Okay, keep your hands raised if the story you chose was the story of your own life. Quite frankly, me neither. I wasn't a fan of my own life story, especially on January 4th, 2018, at Queen and Palmerston in Toronto. I was parked up in my beat-up 2001 Acura TL writing this letter to myself. To expose me to my true reality, not what I wanted other people to perceive me as.

And here are some truths. My credit card was maxed out. My car just broke down for the third time. My bank account balance was negative $133. And a day before this, the one human who I would sacrifice anything for on this earth, who looked at me with teary eyes and said, "I no longer believe in you." My mom. And I remember looking at this letter with tears in my eyes thinking, "How the [ __ ] did I manage to get in this position?"

Considering months ago I was one of the top fintech sales reps in Toronto. But if I wanted to write better chapters, I'd have to revisit the previous ones for clues. Which brought me back to one of my first moments of self-reflection. I was 10 years old reflecting on life. And I believed I was an unlucky kid. Growing up in a house filled with trauma and challenging financial circumstances. While friends had family dinners, I had a mom working two to three jobs and a dad who wasn't there.

While kids got gold stars at school, my home life rage would have my grade three teacher telling me I'd be dead or in jail by 18. And while kids were having the time of their lives, I spent my summers fighting for mine. Battling osteomyelitis, severe asthma, and sleep paralysis would have me scared to go to bed. My story at that time read, "Andrew Day is a miserable black hospital kid whose home life is impacting his beliefs and his biology." And I believed that story.

So, in high school, instead of me trying to find an unfamiliar heaven, I chose a familiar hell. I chose crowds that would influence that story, engaging in drugs, alcohol, or anything that life would entail. My behavior would have my guidance counselor saying, "Maybe you should try to make your dreams more practical." My dad looking at me dead in the eye and saying, "If you knew who I'd become, you wouldn't want me in the first place." And in one of the biggest betrayals of trust in my life, my best friend set me up at gunpoint.

And my rebellion gave me this false sense of self-authorship. But in truth, my story at that time was, "Andrew Day is a passionate but misguided young man who's now becoming the antagonist of his own life story." But I found a way to turn this frustration into fuel. So, in my early sales career, I found some success, but I kept hitting ceilings because these narratives kept coming back. So, the fuel that once fueled me started to burn me, and then burning everything else in my life as well.

Which brings us back to that Acura. And the realization hit. Take note of this. Life becomes a manifestation of the stories you believe the most. Write that down. So, I tried to scrambling for another story. A story that my mom told me about the Maroons of Jamaica. And these are people who were brought to Jamaica as slaves, but fought off colonization and still own sovereign land today. But they didn't allow their circumstances to cast them as antagonists. They chose to be protagonists.

But these weren't just warriors. They're my ancestors. And I realized that going against the odds is in my DNA. So, I made a decision. I picked up this pen. And from that moment onwards, I would consciously choose to turn my odds into ink to write the best stories of my life. I discovered breath work which helped me clear a trauma-ridden nervous system, clear out my asthma, clear out space to write healthier narratives for me. And then from that moment, I went on a mission to turn all of my delusions into reality.

Teachers said to make my dreams impractical, I built a six-figure advertising agency instead. Doctors said no running long distance, I placed top 20% in the half marathons instead. Peers said dropping out of university would make me a failure, I guest lectured at those universities instead. Society labeled me as a statistical angry black kid, I became an international public speaker instead. And now my story reads, "Andrew Day is a happy breath work and mental fitness coach who's worked with Olympians, Fortune 500 teams to train their mind to match the demands of their goals."

So say it again, life becomes a manifestation of the stories you believe the most, and you are no exception. So for you, for anyone that you see on stage, any message, spend time owning your story for you. Because this is the story that influences the mind, that influences the body, by extension influences your reality. So for the people who lowered your head, if your story isn't in your favor, then pick up the pen. If your story isn't in your favor, pick up the pen.

Because life is like a casino. Your narratives are the odds, but the pen is the house. And people may profit from your misfortunes, but like a casino, on a long enough time horizon, the house always wins.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.