Aseel Elbaba

Transcript

did you know that white isn't the absence of color it's the presence of all of them I turned to my cousin to make sure he heard me we were huddled shaking not from the cold but from the fear of the bombs dropping outside our window he gave me that look you know the look kids give you when you've gone too deep AAL enough with your philosophy we need to focus how are we going to protect our family when the soldiers barge in now we were just 9y olds so naturally we had brilliant ideas like filling our water guns with crayons so the soldiers would be

spooked by all the colors flying at them we were brainstorming Under Pressure okay but when did I decide that fixing the world's problem is my personal responsibility that night under the same roof with my cousin and 15 other family members while the world outside was in absolute chaos was the night the resistance in me was born it was the night a little girl decided that she wants to end the war on the Middle East heal all the trauma and solve crimes against humanity just before before bedtime just the average to do less for a child now here's where things take an interesting turn I like

many young girls was completely addicted to a heroin a heroine who's also known to be a woman admired for having done something brave but unlike girls my age I didn't look up to a Disney princess my heroin was an undercover War spy named soab I first heard about SOA when she was released from 10 years of imprisonment enduring solter confinement electrical shots and torture I was glued to my tv as I saw her coming out of the car with her hands in the air ready to reunite with her ego family and Community who didn't have much but used up all their rice reserves to throw

out her welcoming party what made SOA my herwin wasn't her fearless attempt to end the life of a war criminal it was why she failed at it she befriended his wife and became her fitness instructor which gave her easy access to his house where she was instructed to plant bombs and seal the deal but on the night of the mission so have found out that his wife and kids were home unexpectedly she made a decision that almost guaranteed her own death but instead led to her capture she went in with a gun refusing to take out innocent lives and shrug them off as collateral damage

so had taught me that bravery isn't what we fight for it's what we choose not to destroy along the way it's holding on to our Humanity when everything around us says let go so as I stand here tonight I'm still that little girl just a little older with crayons in hand trying to teach love to a soldier demanding Justice and peace where the battles still rage but wisdom has shown me we all share this stage so put your hand on your heart feel it beat Love Will Conquer regardless who it compete stand up for Humanity here's your chance when crimes are committed take his tance

to declare your bravery is to do what's right to stand for love in the darkest night cuz a mother knows a mother knows when she looks at bodies piled there's no such thing as someone else's child what's not a red line is a green light but we need all of us all of us to make the color white thank you one speech can change your life Unleash Your power Embrace The Strife Inspire the world let your story flow and speaker slam let your spirit

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Transcript

my mom dropped to the floor dragging her body through the hallway her heart racing unsure if this was another safety drill or the real deal later she heard bombs again and prepared for another night of Terror in the stairway her entire childhood was robbed of its innocence a childhood filled with fear War and the sudden disappearance of her beloved younger brother Naz never to be seen again during the Lebanese Civil War my mom a Muslim was forbidden to see her best friend assia a Christian stuck on the other side of the city one night desperate to find her brother my mom sned out to see

Asia they embraced each other with tears streaming down their cheek ASA held my mom's hand squeezing them fearlessly and said no War can ever get between our friendship and our love for one another that night two frightened little girls made a sacred pact they promised to name their firstborn daughter after the other in the spirit of Unity on July 16 1989 my mom pushed me into the world naming me AAL later AIA would call her daughter Melissa after my mom Mesa with my name I carry a mission that my mom unknowingly handed me to be a change maker a courageous and loving soul that's destined

to unite and heal others but we are born knowing who we are we live trying to remember it at the age of 10 I connected with my mission for the first time I went together to get some toys to play outside when I heard bombs that shook our entire home hadal I screamed searching for my sister my mom quickly gathered Us in my brother's room we were shaking crying scared but the very next day I had a surge of unexplainable hope I found a pen and paper I wrote my name in the middle a seal with some flowers and butterflies around it and then I

wrote the changer of the world it was my first bus business card then I gathered my toys at the back of the room and gave my first speech that day on all that I hope to do to bring peace back to our hearts I grew up witnessing the power of speeches they started and ended Wars October 26 2022 I became a mother to a beautiful Palestinian boy no knowing the weight of my name I chose his thoughtfully Iden meaning Prosperity later I was told Idan is pronounced Adan in Hebrew representing a new era a full circle moment where I passed on the prayer of unity

to my son without even realizing it but the recent event in the Middle East have paralyzed me I haven't been able to figure out what to say in the face of such deep Injustice Collective pain and suffering all I know is that I want my son to grow up watching his mother speak even when it's hard especially when it's hard there are times in life we certainly need to reinvent ourself but tonight I'm here to reclaim who I'm born to be a changer A Healer and a speaker because claiming yourself is not a one-time event it's a LIF long process we are born knowing who

we are we live trying to remember it they asked me if I think I can speak I nodded with excitement yes I can no you shouldn't go home where you belong a woman like you is nothing but weak I vowed to myself to prove them wrong despite that slap on the cheek because I realized this journey isn't about me I still have a long way to go before my Peak but we could be one word away from World Peace it could be today tomorrow or next week your words are for you to own not lease look within you for the love that you seek the

only person you become is the person you decide to be I'm ready to do this despite the critique because my name is a seal and I was born I was born to

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take a stand I'm about to get naked on stage but I do mean that figuratively because the best I can offer you comes from the deepest places of vulnerability and I'm here tonight to give it my all I'm about to share with you my me too experience but I wasn't sure what details to share what Details Matter and then I realized the story itself doesn't matter it's the person I became as a result of it and the lesson it taught me with because I realized I lived my life in fear of judgment which is what kept me quiet I took a seat and reserved from

sharing my story but I'm here tonight to take a stand see I believe and I'm a firm believer that we are in charge of our own lives during the time that I was sexually assaulted I was also bulimic which is an eating disorder that can literally kill you I had no self-esteem and no self-worth so think about this for a second if I was uncapable of loving and respecting my own body how can I imagine another another person doing that we spend our lives chasing after people that we can catch simply by standing up till this day the guy who used to bully me in

school still takes my lunch money but on the flip side he makes excellent Subway sandwiches I decided to take charge of my life and take ownership of everything that happens to me and that's how you live an inspiring life the day you take a stand so how do you determine if you're living an inspiring life how do you measure that I thought about this question and I came up with a formula I equals amaz squared inspiration equals messages shared to empower to or more if you can because your stories are nothing but chapters in a book that continues to be written and every day you

live is by the white page that's given to you to change the course of your destiny because the pen is in your hands and every lesson is meant to teach you and your duty is to share it with the world make promises that you can keep because promises are like babies they're fun to make but hard to deliver live your life in a way that makes you proud to be or not to be pauses the question that we're faced with daily choices and that is do we show up and come here what we came to be or do we just ignore Our Calling do we

live our lives taking a seat or do we rise and take a stand so tonight I'd like you all to take a stand take a stand for everything you believe in for your values for your worth for the people you care about and for the very reason you exist take a stand for what's right Shania Twain said I'd rather die standing than to live on my knees taking a stand is not only your right it is your responsibility and since the conclusion is a part where we stop thinking I'm not gonna end with one I'm going to end with a poem that summarizes my experience

in a nutshell I looked up to you thinking you're a man a man of integrity doing everything he can I saw you out wanting you to be my mentor not realizing you're gonna throw me on the floor you violated my mind body and soul after what you did I couldn't feel that I'm whole just because you have one doesn't mean you act like one I blamed myself it was my fault not realizing it was sexual assault I cried for days weeped and weeped for my dignity was robbed it disappeared but my strength finally came through defeating me isn't an option given to you loving myself

is the lesson I needed to learn today it's me but tomorrow could be your turn in life things don't go as planned sometimes all we need is a helping hand that insists that lying down we cannot be because we are born to stand so stand stand with me thank you

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to my 10 year old self tonight I'm gonna honor you I'm gonna reconnect with you as a 30 year old in me needs you when I was 10 I used to go for long walks in my neighborhood in south Lebanon beautiful Mediterranean Sea beautiful sun shining birds shipping and the fresh grass filled my lungs as I freely skipped around you would think it's the perfect place for any childhood to thrive except something was troubling in my neighborhood it was an T beautiful homes deserted by its owners who went on the quest of better lives and better stable environments I recall this one day as i

trespassed into this big mansion to find myself in the middle of its empty living room looking up at ceiling were a big hole penetrated its grinding its structure giving me access to its outside world as I look up the sky my imagination drifted into intense inspiration as I wanted to write this story about elite character whose brother was kidnapped by the enemy she wanted to grow up and become a spy so she can go find her brother and as she did that something unexpected happened she fell in love with a soldier in the midst of war crime hate and violence my ten year old self

found love to be the answer see I can't help but think that perhaps love isn't a lesson along life we get perhaps it's something we are born with and somehow we forget the 30 year old in me stands in front of you today as I reflect on all the years where I replaced this unconditional love with neglect when I turned 12 I developed an eating disorder I became bulimic as I was fed a lie that told me I wasn't skinny enough I wasn't beautiful enough I wasn't good enough and for the next 15 years of my life I spent it hugging a toilet purging away

my self love and self worth it was the most painful experience not just physically but mentally and psychologically as I thought I needed to look a certain way to feel worthy when I turned 50 and I started my journey in dating men and I felt that I needed someone to validate me but aren't relationships like algebra one day you're gonna look at your ex and wonder why years of failed relationships that left me with lots of judgment abuse and heartbreak and I've had my share fair of that but I had to step back and realized that the problem there is that I thought I needed

a man to make me feel complete at 25 I got engaged to a really good man with a great family and I desperately wanted to belong to their home as I come from came from a shattered place but then I realized that while love is grand divorce is a hundred grand and I needed to step away from something that I knew wasn't right for me the problem here is that I felt the need of a home where I could belong so today at 30 I can't help but step back and realize that all the questions I've spent my whole life accumulating about love my 10

year old self already had the answers to I didn't come to this earth to get my worse through the way I looked or the perfect relationship or even the perfect home my worse was born with me if I go back and they ask me what I want to be when I grow up I would say I want to become a little girl a little girl see my childhood may be over but the little girl in me will remain ageless Walt Disney famously said that the biggest trouble troubles facing our world today is that the majority of us are growing up so let's scroll down grow

down and reconnect with your inner child because that's the place of the purest form of love and like yours minor child like yours knows that love is and always will be the answer thank you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.