Brian Fuller

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my sight and my ability to see beauty is slowly diminishing with each day that passes 18 months ago I was diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy I've had multiple laser treatments and four eye surgeries which have prevented me from going completely blind but beyond these procedures there is no further medical options that can improve my declining vision my impaired visual Acuity has robbed me of my Independence the Ministry of Transportation has suspended my driver's license my eyes can no longer effectively process light which makes traveling at Twilight and night visually dangerous I have trouble seeing contrast a white page and computer screen is very difficult for me

to interact with I can no longer enjoy the Privileges of reading a good book writing in a notepad or drawing in my SketchBook as a former visual artist capturing Beauty on a canvas was essential to my existence but now I'm like a broken camera in the hands of a photographer they say that the eyes are the windows to the soul but what happens when the glass within the windows begin to break my soul is in anguish but during these last 18 months my diabetic retinopathy has taught me that the essence of beauty transcends what we can see with our eyes this is especially true when

we are encountering challenging situations I have learned that life's greatest hardships setbacks disappointments heartbreaks and medical diagnosis contain wonderful hidden elements of beauty we just have to learn how to find them like me life may be challenging you to reframe your understanding of beauties so that you can Discover it in the most unlikely places beauty is in the eye of the beholder so like a painting or a photograph that captures a moment of beauty it is up to us to frame the Masterpiece as the wonderful work of art that it is my friends your understanding of beauty must go beyond your natural senses it must

go on your image that you see in the mirror beyond the perceptions that other people have of you beyond the painful moments you have encountered and Beyond the present circumstances that you are currently living as you choose to reframe your vision of beauty you will be able to build a stronger mindset a healthier body and a greater sense self-love so wherever you may be in your body beautiful transformation don't lose sight of the beauty that you possess inside and out because your external beauty is merely a reflection of the radiant beauty that the architect of the universe has placed within you and that vision of

beauty can never be diminished thank you

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foreign I have always been inspired by The evolutionary symbolisms of coals caterpillars and apple seeds as abstract as they may be I can totally identify with their hidden potential to become something so much more special as a child I was more special needs than academically special so from grade two to grade 12 I needed the support of a special education teacher and academic progress report so that I could learn at my own pace although I struggled academically I was blessed with the ability to draw with with artistic creativity and accuracy however my parents did not nurture my passion for art nevertheless my childhood heart dreamed

of becoming a professional artist while my immigrant parents dreamed of me becoming a doctor lawyer or even an engineer as my art skills developed I was able to join the gifted arts program at the best academic High School in the district although my parents were proud of this accomplishment they could not understand the economic viability in me becoming a professional artist my father believed that my passion for art would lead me to a life of poverty and disgrace in my final years of high school the unyielding discouragement from my father finally poisoned my passion for art I lost sight of my dream of becoming a

professional artist and I was expelled from the gifted art program like a cold that had lost its Flame I was all burned out fast forward many years later and I struggled to find meaningful employment regret and a sense of unfulfilled purpose robbed me of my joy fell on my mind and invaded my heart thankfully by the fall of 2018 that dark cloud of depression began to dissipate and then I found my way to a live speaker slam event the atmosphere in the auditorium was Electric it was like being at an athletic competition and the speakers were the Beloved athletes I was so inspired by each

featured speaker that I signed up for the two minute passion share so I could be on stage that very evening but my name was not called and like a caterpillar in its cocoon it was not time for my wings to make me soar I later realized that the architect of the universe had orchestrated that evening at speaker slam to show me a glimpse of my future four years later and like an apple seed planted in the ground I have grown I am now ready to share my abundant Harvest although I wrote a top 10 speech competed against my contemporaries and captured the final spot in

tonight's Grand Slam via votes casted by my beloved supporters I am fully aware that Divine favor and Destiny has brought me to this very moment but faith and hard work took me from special education support to being a featured inspirational speaker thank you words were once my weakness but now they are my superpower when I was in the gifted arts program and I was expelled from high school I could never imagine that my words would become my new paintbrush and the audience's ears would become my new canvas like me you may be feeling like a cold that is all burnt out trapped and confined like

a caterpillar or spit out and discard it like an apple seed in my fight to overcome depression I have learned that growth will always challenge our mindset our patience and our faith but if you can learn to Faith it until you make it you will become refined and infinitely valuable like a diamond set free to soar to new heights like a butterfly and Blossom into an apple tree strong and ever abundant my friends trust in your becoming process as you evolve into the Masterpiece that the world has been waiting for you to become

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I know that this confession may sound a bit morbid but I enjoy going to funerals because of how they make me feel about the life that is being honored and how it compels me to consider my own legacy in 2010 when I became a father thoughts of Legacy became even more important to me however the looming realities of fatherhood made me extremely anxious you see my parents got divorced when I was 10 years old and my relationship with my father was never the same every time I visited with my father our relationships always focused on how much my mother had ruined his life this made

it very difficult for us to have a loving and healthy relationship although my relationship with my father was emotionally toxic I wanted to become the type of father that would Forge a heart-centered relational bond with my child that would become Unbreakable a year after my little princess was born I took her to meet my father I wanted them to have the relational bond that he and I never could unfortunately my father's toxic mindset continued to drive a wedge between us motivated by the responsibilities of fatherhood I decided to go back to school so I asked my father if he could help me with my tuition

fees to my surprise he refused to help me in his Twisted logic my father didn't want my mother to potentially benefit from any success that I may obtain especially if he was paying for my education I was heartbroken and I was officially done with our relationship and as a responsible father I could never allow my daughter to be in his toxic presence then late one night in 2014 I received a call informing me that my father had died of a heart attack my father was dead for two days before his body was discovered face down hands clenched and laying in a pool of his own

vomit the police needed me to identify my father's body before they could remove it from his apartment as I entered the room where my father's dead body was discovered tears flooded my eyes I held my breath to avoid the stench of decaying flesh and I looked into his cold lifeless eyes and said dad I'm so sorry that our last face-to-face meeting had to be like this at my father's funeral I was responsible for delivering his eulogy my words were honorable and respectful yet I was transparent about the deficiencies in our relationship my father's toxic parenting taught me that regardless of how I may feel about

my daughter's mother I will never allow adult problems to become a child's problem and unlike my father I will never allow myself to talk ill words about my daughter's mother while she is in my presence most importantly my father's life taught me this important lesson I don't want to die bitter and alone like he did tragically my father's bitterness and anger became his relational and physical death sentence as I reflect on the eventuality of my soul passing from this current reality I am determined to live each day and every moment driven by purposeful intentions so I choose to Faith it until I make it I

choose to be a present and engaged father and I choose to make an impact that will inspire my daughter and countless individuals to live a life that radiates Soul empowering authentic fulfillment my friends when the final chapter of your life has concluded will your life be considered a cautionary Tale or a story of inspiration that reverberates beyond the reading of your eulogy as you Ponder this question I'm reminded of a quote that I heard at the funeral of a beloved colleague live your life with such Integrity that your friends can always defend you but so they never have to with Integrity in mind I encourage

you all to be purposeful with the time you have been given and your impact on this Earth will live forever through the lives of many generations

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as a child i was told sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you this saying was put to the test on a warm summer night during 1990-something as i tried to separate an argument between my cousin and her boyfriend that spilled from her apartment into the field across the street from her building just before the dispute could become physical i jumped between my cousin and her boyfriend and begged her to stop arguing and just come home as you can imagine that night was emotionally charged and i played the role of the annoying little cousin that had stuck my nose into

business that did not concern me with her voice fueled with rage and frustration my cousin asked brian why are you even here i said because i love you and i don't want to see you get hurt my cousin yelled brian i don't effing love you just go home her words hit me like a sucker punch in the nose tears immediately flooded my eyes and i walked away broken-hearted in that moment my young mind concluded if my cousin didn't love me especially after i tried to protect her from physical harm how could i find the courage to love myself in the years following my cousin's words

became deeply buried within my heart creating a chasm of emotional pain that caused me to become disconnected from my family and friends although i diligently guarded my heart from incurring further emotional pain i was still allowing the approval and disapproval i received from my relationship to determine my self-worth you see my personal value was being shaped by voices i had no control over so the words spoken on that warm summer night revealed a painful truth i was suffering from a self-love deficit sticks and stones they say i needed to learn how to love myself so i adopted the mantra faith it until you make it

which helped me to transform the narrative of my inner voice i rejected the lies i believed about myself and i made sure to never again in internalize the bad behavior or negative projections by those i was in relational connected to to affect my personal value most importantly i steeped my mindset in this powerful universal truth that we all share all humans are endowed with an inherent value that radiates from the moment of our birth until we breathe our last breath as i work to apply this universal truth and establish a powerful positive self-image i realize that healing and forgiveness go together like peanut butter and

jelly i needed to forgive my cousin but over the years i told myself that she didn't remember the argument or she did she probably wouldn't care how her words have affected me finally i concluded regardless of whether my cousin remembered speaking those painful filled words that caused my emotional affliction i needed to move beyond the brokenness that was impacting my ability to heal and forgiveness seemed like the most likely way to achieve the emotional wholeness that my soul so desperately yearn for thankfully the architect of the universe has this incredible way of knowing the earnest intentions of our hearts while pivoting our pain towards a

greater purpose and that greater purpose was the liberation of a man whose heart was trapped in a traumatic moment from his youth so that he could become emotionally whole and a loving vulnerable father his daughter so desperately needed him to be even though my cousin never requested to be forgiven i still chose to forgive her anyways and this decision allowed me to experience a level of healing that has shifted the way i process emotions and my ability to overcome it oh i was no longer a victim i was finally free my friends time does not heal our wounds forgiveness does but when we neglect this

part of the healing process our trauma remains deeply embedded within our hearts leaving us trapped in the pain of our past while poisoning our present reality words may not be sticks or stones but as we all know they can cause deep emotional wounds that can afflict us far beyond the healing of any broken bone so we must choose to forgive not for the sake of those who have harmed us but so that we can be free to experience a level of personal growth that transforms our life and shifts the atmosphere of every room we are present in sticks and stones they say but faith forgiveness

emotional wholeness and abundant love i say you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.