Pratheep Charlesjanthan

Transcript

there i was standing on the ledge overlooking the cars below me my feet barely planted on six inches of cement on the railing of the overpass i remember the feeling of the wind coursing through my hair and into my shirt and i could feel the cold breeze on my body and for the first time i had finally felt free free from pain of the loss of my mother the failing school grades and the weight of life all on my shoulders and as i tried to balance my body on the ledge i was simultaneously balancing the conversations in my head percy take a step ahead what

are you waiting for come on put all this misery 10 just jump but wait what if i have so much more to do in this world what if i have so much more to accomplish what if my family and friends think that i am broken or they find me broken but prathip listen aren't you already broken inside how did i even end up here i mean how could a kid destined for greatness a straight a student a student leader end up on the railing of an overpass about to commit suicide well it's not that hard to figure out when you put two and two together

see just a few years back my mom passed away by taking her own life and losing my mom was soul crushing and it brought my entire being down to my knees and day by day as i sat in my lecture hall of my university i would finally begin to feel tired and disinterested some days i would skip class just to roll myself into a ball and shield myself from the outside world soon close enough my grades began to slip and i would receive failing grades on all of my papers i began to criticize myself for the way that i handled my grief for the way

i did not meet the expectations set out by my family nonetheless myself it was in that very moment that i created a wound and i began to feel broken inside now it wasn't until that one special night did my life change forever i was sitting in my office and i had received a call from a close family friend miraculously for some reason i had picked up the call and because normally i don't i just let them all go to voicemail and soon what i assumed to be a five minute hello and goodbye conversation ended up being a two hour long therapy session where i started

to sew my cuts and heal my wounds and what she said to me that night was so powerful it changed my mindset my mood and my life forever she asked me the same question that i asked myself that night standing on the overpass rather do you feel broken inside and i replied yes i am broken do you not see that like i'm broken inside and she said darling slow down slow down wait you are not broken and if you think you are broken i need you to put those parts back together because if a vase was broken and we did the exact same thing listen

it would still be a vase it still has value and i want you to realize that and as a person who sees the most in you i want to see what you see in yourself and what i see is a person who is broken but is still healing a person who has cracks and dents and is embracing them because it has made them stronger and that's exactly what i did from that night i began my healing journey my journey to slowly suture my wounds by diving into podcasts and self-help books to learning to ask for help from other people but most importantly learning to love

myself again so i want to tell you something that's so important and that is the journey to healing may not be an easy one i'm telling you nor is it going to be quick but it is possible so if you feel like a broken vase like i did let me tell you right now you are not broken that the scars from your past the cuts from your experiences and the wounds from your mind and your heart do not make you damaged let me repeat that again the scars from your heart and the wounds do not make you damaged remember a cut doesn't heal in a

day so don't put the pressure on yourself to heal too quickly too you

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.