Robb Gilbear

Transcript

I'd been crying uncontrollably for weeks out of desperation I slammed my head against the wall hoping it would numb the pain I had never felt Agony like this I had to make it stop walking away from an 18-year career in music while facing a divorce was proving to be a deadly combo who was I if I wasn't the person who made and played music that's what allowed me to move to the city music is how I made friends it's how I paid my bills it's who I was while that spun in my head failing at marriage was crushing my heart Not only was I losing

my best friend but to me getting a divorce meant that ID completely failed as a parent a calm came over me once I'd made the decision having having a plan gave me a sense of peace my kids were so little how could I have let them down like this on a Tuesday Morning once the house was empty I set everything up I stood on the chair and I put the belt over my head as I felt the leather on my neck it hit me all I was going to do was pass on this unbearable pain to my kids I slowly loosened the belt I stepped

down I was crying again but this time it was out of relief that decision started the process of me rewriting who I believed I could be for the second time the first time had been as a teenager when I stopped selling drugs to pursue a career as a DJ and music producer that transition took me from a small isolated life to over 60 cities from coast to coast to Europe and even burning man but then the late nights the partying and the binge drinking caught up with me the climb from my second reinvention was hard I got an office job in recruiting and I moved

out one-bedroom apartment where the kids shared a mattress on the floor and I slept on a pullout couch it wasn't much but it was a start I began changing what I read the clothes that I wear and who I spent time with I began doing experiments like going for an entire year without a single drink and after a couple fall starts in the dating world I found a love that I only thought existed in movies we moved into a house together where the kids had their own rooms and thanks to some hard work and a couple job changes I became the director of people and

culture in a tech company with a six figure salary I'd made it at least that's how it looked but I was stressed out others controlled my schedule and my work had little meaning but I was afraid as in my 40s had a mortgage in a family that ended on me could I really take the risk with the support of my partner I made the scary leap and started my own business four years later I stand on this stage as an author a speaker and a business Mentor with hundreds of clients who are intentionally creating their lives my days are filled with joy so as we

finish I'd like to reflect on these three times that I've reinvented myself the first time was because I'd seen how unsustainable it was drug dealers eventually end up in jail or Worse the second time was out of Despair and I hope you never have to go through that but if you do know that it can be done and this third one I didn't have to do things were fine the kids were okay life looked good who was I to say that I wanted more I could have easily stayed on the safe and predictable path but I didn't and I chose to flip the switch anyway

because I didn't want to model playing small for the kids while slowly dying on the inside under the weight of regret in some ways the third reinvention was the hardest I've come to realize that the hardest change is the one we don't have to make thank

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.