Aanchal Vash

Transcript

I was 5 years old, knees pressed against my twin brother's knees. My older brother's arms stretched across us like a shield. My older brother absolutely loved reading the Chicken Soup for the Soul Book series. He would sit us down and teach class as if he was our little life coach. See, in our house, it often felt like we were walking on eggshells. But that small dark closet, it became our therapy room. Three small kids in the dark breathing through fear, whispering and naming our emotions.

An important lesson I learned from a young age was this. When life feels unsafe, create safety within it. Because every time life got challenging, I found myself creating some variation of that same safe space. Whether it's on a walk, a parked car, or a quiet corner. In 2003, my older brother died by malaria. I decided I would make his dreams come true. So, I came to Canada from Nigeria. I studied hard. I worked relentlessly. I took every opportunity I could find.

I was driven by one singular force. Honor my older brother and my twin. He came on that same journey with me. Same childhood, same grief. But somewhere along the way, we responded to struggles differently. I coped by wanting to create that inner safety. The shar he coped differently. He carried his pain in ways I didn't know how to reach. I just didn't know how to support him. And then our visas were running out. Everything we had built in Canada was at risk.

My company was willing to sponsor my work permit, but the shars wasn't. In a heartbreaking moment, my twin called me and said, "You're a success. I'm a failure." And shortly after my twin brother took his life. See, I could have stayed trapped in fear, resentment, or grief. But somewhere inside me, I remembered what my older brother taught us. When life feels unsafe, create safety within it. And I understand why now. Because safety makes choice possible. So I kept choosing forward. I chose therapy rather than numbing.

I chose long nights building a mental health nonprofit, Reach Out Together. I chose courage while building a life in a country that never promised I could stay. And even when life didn't go according to plan, I kept choosing forward. In 2017, that little girl who once sat in a dark closet, while her older brother taught Chicken Soup for the soul lessons, she didn't just get to meet its author, Jack Canfield. She worked alongside him. She became a certified trainer in his programs.

They co-authored a book together. That full circle moment reminded me, sometimes people we lose don't only leave us with grief, they leave us with a road map. Every day since losing my brothers, I've had a choice. Do I let pain define me or deepen me? So every time life tested me, I chose the road less traveled, I chose forward. To my brothers who left too soon, I will continue to keep taking the road less traveled as though my very life depends on it.

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Transcript

after our third annual World Reach Out Together Day conference on July 12th, 2019. I received a note from a volunteer that says, "Thank you for your leadership. The way you create a sense of belonging is inspiring. I just wanted you to know that I ripped up a suicide note I wrote three years ago. You give me hope, Anchel." That was the moment I realized that the work we were doing wasn't just impactful. It was legacydriven work that was beyond me. But why did I ever doubt that?

See, growing up in Nigeria at the age of 13, my older brother passed away by malaria. In Toronto, at the age of 24, my twin brother took his life. In an instant, my entire future shattered. But something inside me ignited. I quit my job. became mental health first aid certified, became a certified success trainer, and I relentlessly started hosting trainings. I founded a global movement called World Reach Out Together Day on July 12th in honor of my twin. But after every event, a sense of emptiness, the grief came back rushing in.

that inner voice screaming at me, who am I to do this? Who am I to talk about mental health, lead leadership trainings when I couldn't even get my parents to seek professional help for their grief? But that one note transformed me for two reasons. One, I went from who am I to if not me then who? If not now, then when. And second, I realized that I did not host that conference alone. 14 volunteers worked tirelessly to make it impactful. Neil Armstrong, Jack Canfield, our very own Dan and Reena from Speaker Slam did not do it alone.

They had people who believed in them, supported them, and helped carry their vision. I learned that legacy is not built by extraordinary people. It is built in community. Today is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. I stand here as proof that I did not get here alone. But because of Ubuntu, it is an African philosophy that means I am because you are. It shows the interconnectedness of humanity. To my parents, thank you for being my biggest cheerleaders. To my team, thank you for your service.

To my brothers, thank you for teaching me my earliest lessons of resilience. To my mentor, Jack Canfield, whose book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, was rejected by 133 publishers. Thank you for not quitting. I am because you are. And to you, thank you for fighting battles no one sees. I mean, thank you for choosing to rise instead of despise, to care instead of compare. Thank you for the unseen work, the late night cry again, try again, rise again work. I see you.

I honor you. And I thank you for making one life better. I am because you are. Let's say that together. I am because you are. And that is your legacy. The legacy of we. Thank you.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly cleaned. Some names and wording may differ from the spoken speech.

Transcript

on July 12th 2016 there was a knock on my door really late at night I opened the door and there was a police officer standing right there he said to me at 5 p.m. this evening your twin brother tashar passed away the evidence suggests that he passed away by Suicide I took a step back and it felt like in that moment life fired me fired me from all the dreams that we had together and for some reason I found myself going into the closet after he left I sat on the ground in the closet just put my hands together like that and I thought to

myself how am I going to call my parents on FaceTime and give them this news see when we were 13 years old in Nigeria our older brother passed away by malaria I'm thinking to myself how am I going to call my parents on FaceTime who still live in Nigeria and give them this news I took 10 minutes got up and made that call the next day I woke up I went back into the closet got up and then started researching how do you organize an Indian funeral and I started taking it a step at a time one day at a time I decided to quit

my job I became Mental Health First State Certified started a mental health non-for-profit called reach out together foundation and I relentlessly started hosting mental health educational trainings the first training I ever held I had two volunteers and zero attendees the two volunteers were my friends by the way but you know what happened after the next training I had five attendees the next training I had 15 and before I knew it I was speaking to audiences globally I founded a global movement called world reach out together day on July 12th in honor of my twin brother to encourage people to reach out together for better mental

health I became a published author H besteller lists became featured in the news started winning Awards basically I was doing all the things my parents wished I'd do as a doctor and I keep telling them mom and dad I heal people but with words I learned that when life fires you it is not the end it's ignition the Char's passing fired me with purpose quitting my job fired me with courage taking risks fired me with a mission bigger than myself if life ever knocks you down it's okay to go into the closet embrace yourself create moments of mindfulness and then stand back up again get

fired up so let's say this together when I say fired all of you say up fire fired fired fired thank you very much Toronto you've been an excellent audience today my name is anel Bash and let's stay fired up

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