I still get stage fright.
I've spoken on hundreds of stages, paid stages, TEDx stages. I've been speaking for ten years. And the day before I led the final session of a Command the Room training this fall, I spoke at an event. I walked in thinking, I am going to dominate at this event. And I did. But right before I went up, I could feel my heart beating in my stomach, and I had to tell myself, breathe, Rina.
My mouth still goes dry the first time I speak to a new group.
So if your heart pounds when you're three names away from being called up, you're in very good company. Most advice tells you to make that feeling disappear. Picture the audience in their underwear. Think positive. Just relax. If those tricks worked, you wouldn't be reading this. Here's what I teach instead.
What Stage Fright Actually Is
I believe stage fright is the criticisms or judgments we have about ourselves. We see that through the eyes of the audience.
Think about what runs through your head before you speak. Did I wear the right thing? Will they judge my accent? I didn't memorize this! Those questions come from your own inner critic, projected onto a room full of people who mostly want you to do well.
That shift matters, because it moves the problem somewhere you can work on it. You can't control what a room of strangers thinks. You can notice when your own judgments are doing the talking, and answer them.
Even Experienced Speakers Feel It
I share my own nerves with every group I train, because this is the most useful thing to know about fear of public speaking: experienced speakers feel the same rush you do.
We've simply stopped reading it as a sign that something is wrong. And we keep going.
Five Ways to Get Over Stage Fright
1
Scan the Room for Friendly Faces
When I get on stage, the first thing I do is I scan the room for the most friendly faces. Every audience has smilers and nodders. Every audience also has a few dead cold stares. You don't need to win over the toughest face first.
On day one of that training, one participant gave me a stern look that said, impress me, lady. So I looked over at another participant who smiles all the time. (I told that story to the whole room in week six, with her sitting right there.) Start with the warmest face in the room, let your body settle, and widen your connection from there.
2
Be the Friendly Face for Someone Else
The flip side is just as important. When you're in the audience, smile, look at the speaker with your eyes, and nod. Their whole heart rate goes down when they feel like, okay, I'm safe here.
If you're presenting alongside colleagues or competing alongside other speakers, this habit changes the whole room. The safer you make it for others, the safer it feels when your turn comes. It's what I love most about our community: Speaker Slam® is where your fiercest competitor is also your biggest cheerleader!
3
Slow Down, Because You've Earned Your Spot
Nervous speakers speed up. I'm guilty of this too. We don't want to take up too much space. And one of the ways we don't take up space is we rush through what we have to say.
No, you've earned your spot.
You were invited to speak. The time is yours. Using all of it calmly is part of the job.
4
Breathe and Stay Grounded in Your Spot
Before your first word, take a deep breath and plant your feet. If you've got a three-minute talk, you don't want to be pacing back and forth. Don't feel like you have to move. Just use your spot.
Staying grounded gives nervous energy somewhere to settle, and it reads as confidence to the audience even when you don't feel it yet. Then deliver it the way I coach every room: slowly, powerfully, confidently share your story.
5
Know Your First Lines Cold
Nerves peak in the first thirty seconds. Know your opening so well that it comes out even while your heart is racing, and skip the warm-up chatter. No introduction, no preamble and no thank you very much. Just go right into the story and just own it powerfully.
If you want my full method for that, read how to memorize a speech without sounding robotic.
Let the Nerves Work for You
Here's the part most people miss: nerves can actually help you.
When I coach speakers through emotional stories, I see it every time. A little nervousness on the day helps the feeling come through. That's the paradox, because that's when the brilliance comes and you're a bit nervous. If there's no emotion, it becomes like a polished performance.
Your racing heart is a sign that you care about the people in front of you. Audiences can feel that. Channel it into your story instead of fighting it.
Every time you speak while scared, you prove to yourself that you can.
Fear Gets Smaller Every Time
The most reliable cure for stage fright is repetition. When you first start, you're terrified. Then you push through the fear, and each time it gets easier and easier. So you have to start somewhere.
I closed that training with a line from a video I'd watched that very day, and it stuck with me. We keep thinking life will get easier after school, after the new job, after this busy season. Life is never easy, it's hard, and the goal is for us to do hard better.
Speaking may never feel effortless. You'll get better at it anyway, and that confidence follows you into meetings, interviews, sales conversations and every other room where your voice matters. I watched it happen to that whole group. I've never been more proud of any room.
If you need a story to practise with, start with how to find your signature story. If you want a real stage with a crowd that's rooting for you, our public speaking competition in Toronto was built for exactly that. And if you lead a team that freezes when it's time to present, Command the Room is available as corporate training through Momentum Speakers.
So tell me: what's the one thing your inner critic says right before you speak?
Keep reading: 8 Public Speaking Mistakes That Stop You Getting Rebooked · Why Employees Don't Speak Up in Meetings (And What Actually Helps) · How to Write an Inspirational Speech That Actually Moves People
Your Next Step
Stage fright shrinks fastest when you have a plan and a place to practise. In our free Launch Your Speaking Journey session, we'll walk you through where to start, what to work on first, and how to get on your first stage with support around you.